I don’t hate you

I shared a post on FB the other day talking about Coldplay in a negative light. The event got me thinking about how I really liked Parachutes, but I am not a fan of everything after. That lead me to thinking about Nickelback, Sum 41, and the other bands that kind of fell out of favour quickly and harshly.

Now, to be totally up front about this, I like Parachutes. I like Silver Side Up. I like Half-Hour of Power. To be totally honest, I kind of liked these bands and one point or another. They all fell victim to trend following.

Let me explain my reasoning with Coldplay and Nickelback as the prime examples.

Parachute was a fantastic album. Yes, certain parts of the music world got very sick of Yellow, but it was Radiohead if they continued with The Bends era. It was poppy, but quirky. It stayed close enough to mainstream to keep attention, but was deep enough if anyone wanted to look further into the album. Parts of it, like the track Trouble, were absolutely amazing and fresh. However, they got a taste of mainstream success with Yellow, and they refused to give it up. When Clocks took the basic formula, but made it anemic; the writing was on the wall. Soon, pretty much the next album, every song was a formula to manufacture singles. Those of us who had been keeping our ear to their releases with phobias of being let down, noticed immediately what happened.

Nickelback is the same, but very different. It was no secret that little thought was put behind their runaway hit How You Remind Me. The thing that hurt so much with this band was that the rest of Silver Side Up was not horrible, but very few people know anything off that album aside from the single.

To be clear: I am not saying that it is great by ANY stretch of imagination. The single was written in just over 10 minutes, and Chad Kroeger has been very candid about that fact. The album lacked any foresight, and a majority of the songs felt shallow. This was because POTENTIALLY they were. They were a band for six years before that song came out, so if they had ANY foresight, they jumped on the formula that they suspected would launch them into the stratusfield.

To continue this dunk/defense of Nickelback, CANCON (a law governing Canadian Content in the arts) both boosted and FUCKED there career. As a Canadian, it was the next thing to impossible to avoid Nickelback. This is also what hurt Sum 41 in the end, as their “acceptable” songs were played everywhere you turned. Combine that with the fact that both bands got huge around the last push of radio/music video did little to help. Since this was a time before streaming, cars and store constantly played songs by these bands because equal parts they had to and they were popular.

IN CONCLUSION: I feel sorry for these bands. I’m not a fan for other reasons, but I do feel sorry for them. It shows that the arts are a fickle mistress, and being popular and staying popular are two VERY different things.

On a cusp…


I was looking at my Patreon page the today. I am very close to hitting a milestone that I never thought even MILDLY approachable! Thank you to everyone who does find it in their heart to donate monthly.

To everyone else, please consider. It helps me keep this site up to date, and it helps me to feed my pets! Currently, I do not have the traffic from this site to make it even mildly feasible through ads and the like. Even a dollar a month helps me keep the URLs associated with my corner of the internet active.

Just $1 a month can help feed a family!*

*not really, I just feel like a UNICEF commercial posting something like this. I try to avoid blunt requests like this, but I can almost taste the abratary benchmark.

Stockholm Syndome

Did you ever think about the fact that no one realizes they are in a situation Stockholm Syndrome describes?

I am getting ahead of myself again. Let me define this, give an example, then explain what I mean.

Stockholm Syndrome describes a situation where someone falls in a semblance of dependence on an overbearing situation. The most famous example, also where the name comes from, is a crew of bank robbers enters their intended target. They are there for hours, while police and security arrives on location, but is not able to enter for fear of something happening to a hostage. Over the time that they are kept as prisoners, the hostages start to relate more and more to the insurgents plea. They become sympathetic, some even falling in love with their captures. When the event is finally quelled, police are forced to let the majority of criminals go because no one is willing to give any information to police that would harm their new obsession.

Why would no one be able to identify they are afflicted by Stockholm Syndrome if they are, indeed, in the throws of it? They, by definition, would be so embroiled in a kind of narrative where the person they love could do no wrong.The relationship is never described as symbiotic. There is always described a strong power imbalance that favours the target of “desire”. If someone realised that they were giving in to this kind of pseudo-machasistic machination, it would cause the illusion to falter. They would, by acknowledging this, be admitting that their “captor” is bad, therefore, accepting what everyone is trying to tell them.

If you suspect that someone is stuck in the middle of some sort of power vacuum, start interrogations by asking them their opinion first. Launching into why they should be more worried could just cause them to real back and ignore everything they are saying. No one likes being reminded that they are weak. However, if you voice it as noticing something off and highlighting the issue instead of condemning, you will probably have a better chance of cracking a fincade.

In a situation like this, be prepared to cause a chain reaction. Make sure that before you remove a brick, you can have things in place to save the person you are trying to help. There is always the chance that pointing out an issue will wake someone from not thinking things are that bad, to noticing how everything is horrible and they don’t know how to fix it. If you can put out a hand to assist, that could make everything clearer. Just keep yourself open, keep your thoughts pure, and make everything you say as truthful as possible.

Yes, I am aware that Stockholm Syndrome (as a term) has been discredited. I am using the term as a shorthand that a majority of people will understand.

this is normal

It turns out that epilepsy is linked to depression. I thought I was just feeling down because, even after seven years of dealing with it, I never quite got okay with being in the wheelchair. My mind also played with the idea that it is because I’m not playing on stage anymore: maybe it’s a kind of withdrawal?

No. As a friend of mine put it, “all this brain stuff effects depression”. See, she also suffers from epilepsy, and has for a very long time I asked her, flat out, if this is “normal” because I knew that, of anyone, she would know.

Actually, I told her my findings and asked her if she felt down and if she could link it to her depression. Well, I asked her all of that in a less rambly way.

I am not using this as a crutch.
I am not putting all past and future actions on this one fact.
I AM looking into it to explain some things I have said to myself. To come up with some sort of reason for things said that I normally would never dream of. This helps me understand and rationalize some of my less-desirable traits that have come to my attention as of late. Not excuse reactions away, but explain why I might say or do something completely out of character.

I feel like I have to express this the most public way I have available to me.

UNFORTUNATELY FOR YOU: that is a blog post.

My reading was from this site, and it really does explain epilepsy and depression in an easy-to-read way.


I feel like I have gone on this rant in prior updates, but I am going to speed ahead without double checking because it is relevant again today.

As per usual, I have been writing again. Well, I have been looking at the 40 pages that I have so far smashing my head against walls trying to get the motivation to continue writing again. Yes, I have everything mapped everything out for the next hundred-or-so pages, but I find the will to go forward hard to find through the gluttony of worries that my idea is too far ahead of what I am capable of as a writer right now.

I have always been the last person to add to a project. I am a drummer. I am the guy who edits, cleans, and I was a salesperson selling someone else’s dream for my entire adult life to this point. Even the book I did write is a recollection of events I went through, and therefore did not require much imagination on my part.

All of my thoughts on the idea reminded me of editors and just how much I would love to be one. Kind of: I could only imagine the horrible script they read on the daily and just have to focus on tense, grammar, and speeling. I do not envy them in that regard, and I tip my hat in their direction. I have had my friend Luka edit my stuff in the past, and I had an editor (who did a less-than-perfect) on the first draft on You’re Not Dead.

The idea of editing my own stuff seems ludacris to me. Trusting me to fix a mistake that I made makes no sense. I made the mistake because, likely, I assumed that it was not a mistake. To assume that I would find it on subsequent read throughs is silly, to put it politely. Especially when it comes to things like tone and tense. There are things that I hear in my head, and there is a VERY good chance they are wrong.

I recently got my friend Hannah to read over what I have written so far in my next work. She criticised my dialogue as feeling manufactured. That is a comment I have gotten in the past, and a trap that I cannot seem to figure out how to rectify.

Well; check that. I do know that I can rectify it, and will in future publications. My frustration is that, in the piece, it was SOMEWHAT intentional. I AM NOT SAYING THAT SHE IS WRONG FOR CALLING ME OUT ON IT. This brings me back to my point of self-editing a work. I know what my end intention is; I know my writing can feel stilted, if not robotic at times. I just don’t know how to not be that way where the end justifies the beginning. I want my writing to be enjoyable all the way through, and not to just have an “ah-hah!” at the end. Unfortunately, shy of co-writing, I have to somehow fix the way my brain deals with conversation and abstract thoughts myself.

Self-editing is like teaching yourself sex through masturbation. Parts can be achieved, you may personally enjoy the end result, but everyone else will just be bored.

The worst bear.

Hi. My name is Jason Garden and I am not who you think I am.

I try to be a good person. You may even assume that I am not that bad at all, but you would be remiss for assuming that.

part of the issue is that I have to go out of my way to be agreeable. It does not come naturally to me, but I act like it does. Quite often, my “heart is in the right place” but my words paint a picture that I do not intend.

I am not a good person.

My self-awareness in this regard may create a false sense of security. Due to my warning you, it could be seen as some humility. This could be completed as me trying to be better.

I am not a good person. The reason I say that is that I keep trying to change to no avail. I continue to be this arrogant, self-serving, elitist ass hole that I have always been. I am sorry. You have been warned.

Depressing Update 3.4

Yearly reminder that you will die.
To fight against this is ridiculous.
If you actually manage to thwart the grasp of death,
you will be, not only the oldest; most decrepit person on the planet,
you will also be alone in a sea of faces.
Everyone you love,
everyone you know,
will die.
Even if you unlock the “secret” to living forever.
The search for immortality is absurde.
People have ruined any enjoyment of the now seeking a forever solution.
Find someone to have a conversation about nothing with instead.
Temporary happiness is all we have.

To wish for anything else is foolish.

The most depressing thing about today is…

Something less dower coming soon! Keep posted!

Also, look into my Patreon to help me continue to feed my pets!

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Oh: I started uploading an audio-only version of my PodCast! Everything gets updated within an hour of each other, so pick your poison!