Why do I bother?

I have been working on my next book for the last few months. I am doing so quietly because I feel I am prone to make promises that I cannot keep.

I have run into a frequent issue that I have. What I have so far makes a fantastic story, in my observation. The plot is complex, the characters are rounded, and the scenery is detailed and flushed out. I have only written 70 pages, and a few of them contain only a sentence or two.

I view this as different from writers-block. It is not that I do not know where to go, it is more that I do not want to taint what I have so far. I do not have more story because I do not want more story.

UPDATE A FEW DAYS LATER!

I think I know what I’m going to do, and hopefully it will stretch everything out to at least 100 pages. 

I REALLY like it, and I hope you do to.

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Stumped.

The single most confusing thing to me is people who expect me to walk who have never seen me walking. It infuriates me to no end, and I am not sure what they are getting out of picturing me walking around. I am as independent as possible and RARELY ask for assistance: so it’s not like I am begging for a hand doing simple tasks.

No. I can no longer drive. Even if I started walking tomorrow, the seizures have made that a fact. I am, however, not driving. I always got myself around and rarely asked for rides. I even avoid making plans to events I know I have only a small chance to get to.

The major thing that I missed from driving was the soundtracks that I concocted to join me on the venture. Yes, I can listen to what I want to when I want to now, but there is something magical about music playing over your actions.

I Find That Hilarious

I got thinking about what exactly I find funny.

I’m not sure why. Maybe it was Idea Channel dissolving slowly, maybe it was people (in my mind, anyway) not reading my posts in the right way. Maybe it was my wife saying that a large percent of what I was saying is NOT* funny.

*yes, she emphasizes the not.

Do I think I am hilarious? No. I actually think that I am extremely not funny. I do, however, relay to the people around me what I find funny.

Let me make something as clear as I can: LIFE IS HILARIOUS!

I’m in a wheelchair! Plus I’m epileptic! I say these things NOT for sympathy, but I do say it because it is funny as hell!

…but am I afraid…?

Yes. Everyday is terrifying for me. What if I have a seizure and no one is around? What if I cannot perform a simple task BECAUSE of the wheelchair? Am I more fucked that even I realize?

Is that not FUNNY to you?

That’s why I write, to be honest. To have everyone know that life is fleeting, you WILL die, and something horrible will happen in your life — you may as well find all aspects of it funny.

A good joke doesn’t hurt anyone. As Jimmy Carr said, “offence is taken.” Jokes are occasionally, yes, at someones expense, but the “victim” knows that it is a joke. Hurting someone intentionally is NEVER funny. You really cannot fight me on this and have me agreeing with your side.

Anyway: that’s my ramble for the week. I’m sorry this was so unfunny, it was on my mind this week.

I hate this place…

Yes: I never seem to be happy where I live. Sometimes, I do not realize that I could have been happy if I tried harder until I leave. Sometimes, I am bang on with my assessment.

Burlington is nice for Ables. It is a pretty city close to many other interesting cities. It has many awesome things (Ikea, some awesome concerts…), but it has a couple of MAJOR drawbacks for me. The biggest one is the transportation around here.

It has happened several times: I have to be somewhere, and there are no ways for me to get there. The bus is a bit too far from the destination to make the trip worth it and there is only one wheelchair cab which is booked. I mean, I get only having one accessible cab if you do not have the demand for more, but it always seems to be booked when I need it.

The other night, we wanted to see a movie. Several hours before the movie we had tickets to started, I called to book a cab for 1830.  It was schedueled for that time, so we would have to take it at 1800, which is annoying but doable.

The required trip home would have to be at 2245: they had nothing after the 1800 time they gave me. We would have been fine with a time after 2300, but the cabs stop running at 2300 for the wheelchair rides, and they gave no other options. Basically, people in wheelchairs have a deadline to get home by 2300 or be stuck.

Now, I am not saying that I do not fully understand: I, myself, am in bed by 0000 most nights and do not expect cabs to run all hours of the night. It would be nice, however, to know that I would not be stuck if I was out one night. It would be nice to just have the option. As it stands, I cannot go to a concert or to a bar because, if it ran over that 2300 time, I would be stuck wherever I might be. Frustrating? HELL YES.

Let’s be real: who needs a life anyway?

How to Write a Book

I was asked by a person recently about how they should go about finishing something they started writing and left long ago. Two things came across my mind:

  1. THANK YOU FOR TAKING ME SERIOUSLY AS A WRITER ENOUGH TO ASK ME ABOUT THIS!
  2. I can only relay what I have been doing for myself, but it does seem like a sound idea. I have written a good chunk (if not all) of my plot down as thoroughly as I could. From there, I plan on leaving it alone for a bit, get a few of my friends to read it over and give feedback, then filling it out. Will that be a good plan? Probably not. My hope is that it will give me the clarity to critically look at my work and rip it apart. I want to entertain me first, then others. I do not want to spoil things, but what I am writing runs the risk of being complex and convoluted. I need to make sure it makes sense, and the only way I can do that is to read it after a long break from working on it. So far, Bekki, Joel, and Steve have all given me input on what I should flush out and pushed me to clean up areas that do not seem to flow. There are still areas that I know of, but I am going to leave them alone for right now. I am writing in piecemeal (maybe 100 words at a time only) to make sure there is some consistency in the tone.

 

The Potential Move

Natasha and I are looking to move house. We are looking into Hamilton because we are not having a good time in Burlington. I think it is a positive move, even though I have little nice to say about that city. It is her home town, there are a lot more places to work, and the cabs are less ridiculous.

I am also starting to look for a real job. Maybe through the police in the civilian branch. I need to do something other than look after the dogs and cat all day. Mind you, I am writing another book (as stated in the text interview) and I have changed the way I am writing it. I am very excited.

Long story short, I am going to be very busy over the next month and a bit. I am also very exited for all of it. Yay, living life again!