I kept this blog without a title until it was done due to the fact that, at this point, I cannot figure out if it is going to be a rant or not.
HELLO hello hello. I have been biting my tongue for a year and I just cannot take it any further. The following post will, I hope, destroy the myths and assumptions around why I am where I am.
If you are, for some reason, offended: I AM SORRY.
The reason that I am not correcting these misinformed people in private is because the ideas run rampant and I cannot even keep up.
1) HOW LONG WERE YOU IN HOSPITAL?
Ten months. Ten, long, months.
2) DID YOU GET SICK IN ICELAND?
I went to Iceland with my brother, who I shared a bedroom with. We were rarely apart, and he did not get so much as a sniffle. So, no. I did not get sick in Iceland.
3) ARE YOU SURE? HOW CAN YOU BE SURE?
First off, I will kill you. The passenger manifest was also checked, as well as hospital records for all of Reykjavik. A good friend of mine and I actually met up in the city and had a beer. She is fine. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY, STOP ASKING THIS QUESTION! It is not even a fair question at this point.
4) ARE YOU IN PAIN? AND IF SO, CAN I BUY YOUR PAINKILLERS?
Oh boy, I do love this line of questioning. NO AND NO. Fuck! I actually suffered the exact opposite. I could not feel anything during a large part of this journey. Even at the worst of it, I had a headache. DO YOU WANT MY TYLONAL? Grah, I am starting to get very angry. MOVING ON
5) DO YOU NOW BELIEVE IN {insert etherial being here}?
No. I appreciate the prayers that I received, and I love each and every person who took time to say something. If you have questions about my religious experience around this, ask. I am not going to post any opinions here because that would not be fair to anyone, and especially not me. I am willing to express myself to anyone who would be open to listening. I am not going to sit through lectures about how my views are wrong, or incomplete, or whatever. Religion is supposed to bring a person perspective and comfort. If attacking my views are the only way you can feel secure in what you believe, then maybe you need to make sure you a) understand what the hell you believe in and b) actually follow the dogma and doctrine around it.
6) IF IT WAS MENINGITIS, WHY DID YOU NOT JUST FIX IT/CATCH IT EALIER?
OH GOD I LOVE THIS QUESTION! Do you really think I just let things get THIS bad without TRYING to fix it? I went to my doctor. I showed signs of a flu. I went to the hospital when my nerves were doing strange things. They did not know what was causing the encephalitis. A spinal tap was performed, it came back clear. There was no sign of viral infestation, and no sign of bacterial infestation. Meningitis can either be viral or bacterial. Since they could not find the instigator, they could not do anything. I received anti-cancer meds. I received enough antibiotics to make me glow. I have had COUNTLESS x-rays, CAT scans, needles, biopsies… The list is extensive and scary. I have two fucking other people’s worth of blood put back into me. Since I have a blood type that is stupid rare (O+), it was hit and miss whether I could get even one vial, let alone enough to live.
Okay, I need to stop. Maybe have tea and read or something.
The point of me writing all of this is that I want to dispel a large amount of myth in regards to what happened.
I hope this answered something for someone. Fuck knows it just made things more daunting for me.
plain text. 