I find myself at a very awkward space in time. As I write this, it is only three days until the one month anniversary of my books release, at the same time I find myself chomping at the bit to say something about it.
I still have not had much feedback: as of August 2nd at 10 AM there has been no rating anywhere. Even one star would be something to go on. It would tell me that I should not try to do this again and I would go back into my shell: away from the public eye. Not reading anything is both intimidating and frustrating. As much as I love my friends and family, I have a hard time accepting there reviews of the work. I worry that they are just being nice. I worry that they are not telling people to pick it up. I am trying to reach as many eyes as I can, but I can to only do so much.
No: I do not have the sale numbers as of yet: again, as of August 2nd. I have heard back from about five people outside of my family that they have read it.
To be clear: I am not doing this for the money. I am not doing this for any sort of fame. I wrote the book to elaborate on my tale much more completely than I could ever do in this blog. There are minor differences between the text and here. In places, I was given the freedom to elaborate. Sometimes, I had to hold back opinions. Something I was probably overly cautious about was my intentional omitting of names. I had to keep everything mostly anonymous for fear of lawsuit.
With that said, I have kept from writing about many situations that plagued my journey in both the text and on this blog. They are moments that are just that: moments. They will not matter in the long run, or even in the short. Some are painful, yes. Some will haunt me for an extended period of time. They will never matter to the overarching narrative that I went through. They were even more private than I would like to admit. They are over.
Some people I do have to thank, of course.
I’m going to start with Amanda. She has been a great driving force and inspiration through all of this. She has been assisting me, where she can, for the last almost year. Regardless how things turn out, she has been a great friend.
Katie is my co-worker for Mind The Music T.O. and a great friend. She has offered on many occasions to help me with advertising on Social Medias as well as has helped me through the last few months. Never changing, in the best possible way: I always try to talk to her once a day.
Elianna is a very good friend who has stood with me, even if I didn’t always deserve it, for the better part of the past decade. She got married while I was in the comma, so I missed out on that party. She has a beautiful baby boy, though.
Natasha is my girlfriend. My soulmate. My best friend. She has also been my temporary editor for the last six months. She has been the first person to look over my manuscripts and has never shied away from calling me an idiot when I double a fact or name.
Trevor, Joe, Kelsey, Ryan and Cody have been my friends for the last two or so months. They have been fantastic because they have been my reminder to relate to this world we inhabit. Trevor, in particular, has been bouncing ideas for story lines that he comes up with off of me with the hope to help me figure out my next work.
Kevin & Mike are old friends from long ago. It was actually ten years about a month ago that Kevin and I recorded our first album. It will be ten years about a month from now that Mike and I played our first show together. They, together, have been a great force in my life for the last year.
David is an enigma. He was a friend of a friend for years, and has become one of the more important people in my life over the last year. I do not know what changed, if anything. We both share a similar opinion of music and movies, and it is just so refreshing to have him around. Needless to say: it was a welcome advancement.
Hannah is the main reason I started writing in the first place. She told me time and time again that I should keep some sort of record of what happened while in hospital. When I finally got to a point where I could physically and mentally handle it, she kept me in line.
Stephen was my old bass player from The Twin and my bandmate from Chance Procedures. He has showed nothing but love in the last few years. He lives far away now, but I look forward to a competition, of sorts, in video games on his return.
Luka will always be the most important person in my life. She is by far the best friend I have and will ever have. More than a girlfriend. More than a love. She is still the only person who can do half the shit she does and be held in such a great regard in my head. I will forever blame her for a great portion of my humour and for my constant strive to do DIY.
Chrissy & Adam have been my two closest friends for years. They believe in me, when no one else seems to. For that, and many other reasons, I love them both very much.
Of course, I need to thank a tonne more people, but I am already pushing 1000 words. That means that I am going to cut that off there. If I did not mention you, it is far from personal. It is simply because I started writing this idea out and I felt like I was droning on and on.
The people I can think of, but will not bore you with paragraphs lightly explaining why they are important, are as follow:
Johnny, Angele, Shannon, Ryan, Bree, Elisha, Ben, Kat, Sarah, Kaitlinn, Alberto, Nate, Megahn, Joel, Brownwin, Bekki, Dianne, Joey…
(I’m probably forgetting a few names…)
UNRELATED SIDE NOTE: This marks my 80th update. Yes, I will do some sort of mention every time I reach a multiple of ten.