Podcast 9

I cannot believe that I have already done 9 of these…

I hope you enjoy! The card at the end gives a link to the full playlist if you feel like catching up!

New PodCast Form

I was prompted by WordPress to start an Anchor account, so I did!

I like it. It’s fun to use, and rather painless! What’s really neet, they act as an RSS feed for several different ports.

So, this is going to be a link dump. Most of the major players are available, and if anything new comes up, I will be sure to post more links!

Anchor
Breaker
Google
Pocket Cast
RadioPublic
Spotify

I will be posting the Unnamed Podcast here daily, at least until it catches up. I will also be wrapping that one up in the next little bit, as I have started to script something new circling around music.

I’m sorry, Texas.

I need to extend an explination to my friends and readers from the State of Texas.

I have been rather unsympathetic to your plight as of late. To be fair, parts of what you are dealing with sounds pathetic to those who deal with it all the time. It’s easy to forget that even a monicrom of snow is a huge deal to some parts, and temperatures around freezing are strange for a large part of your State.

I find it kind of strange how you got our winter, kind of. We have had about a month of snow, and equal time of freezing temperatures. I understand that the inclimate weather hit suddenly and fast (for you), but our winter has been mild and relatively snow free. At our pique, we had a foot and a half of snow (imperial measurements are a pain in the ass). We have hit temperatures of -20 C this year, which is -4 F for those who measure that wrong.

Seriously, however, your power situation is disgusting. I cannot believe how your power companies have literally hung you out to freeze, and your government is bloody useless. I’m sorry.

You used to define me…

I was listening to Circa Survive, and worried that I moved on.

I was listening to “On Letting Go”, which is one of my favourite albums. The drums are the most deceiving orchestration, the vocals sore, and the brilliant guitar leads always lead to my surprise. Yes, over 13 years later and I am still surprised every time I play it through. You would think that, by now, I have learned every part.

That album is not my favourite of all time, but it has been high on my list since its release. I would probably put in on my top ten of all time; or, at least, I would have. I was listening to it today, and found myself let down by parts. I was almost bored by it, and found myself tuning out for the first time since I got my hands on the beautiful collection all those years ago.

I got worried that I was just bored of Circa Survive in general, so I immediately put on ‘Juturna’ to find out. By the song ‘Wish Resign‘, I was comfortably back in a state of bliss.

I have no idea why my attention has been taken away from that album. The track ‘The Difference Between Medicine And Poison Is In The Dose‘ was my favourite song for a very long time, and I feel like I have just divorced a part of my life. Maybe I am just being melodramatic, I am finding putting my dismay into text properly very difficult.

Anyway, I had to share that ‘On Letting Go’ has soft-lost a place in my heart. I still really enjoy the album, and ‘Living Together‘ is still a banger. I am almost positive that majority of my reader base doesn’t care, but it really upset me. Knowing that this was more than a FaceBook status prompted me to write this blog, which turned out to be a lot longer than I meant.

The most magical time of year

Fuck me, I’m excited!

Starting next month, I am posting a depressing thought every week!

I am not doing this to ruin your day. I am not posting them for some sort of morbid cry for help. I am not doing it because I find some great amusement from doing so.

I post them every year (well, for the last three years, anyway.) because I think it is…important… or something…

It is easy to find reasons to be happy. Yes, it is easy to tune in to news programs and see things that ruin your day, as well. I find it therapeutic to remember that there are things that no one can control. I actually find great soothing in knowing that, sometimes, things are just shitty. That there are things that everyone experiences, and even the greediest person alive will have to deal with something that I post.

I will admit, there is one thing I wrote this year that does not affect everyone equally. However, the ratio of 1 to 5 is pretty okay with me! I like the idea of just passing!

BEFORE THE UPDATES KEEP YOU FROM COMING BACK!

I extend my hand asking for Patreon donations to keep my head above water. Your support keeps my pets fed, and a roof over my wife, who cannot work right now for world-ending reasons. Also, a friendly reminder that my podcast is up on YouTube for enjoyment of all. I am doing a new one soon, so look there to get caught-up!

Normalize sadness

I posted a status on my Facebook that was a statement of fact. It was self-effacing, mildly depressing, but it was NOT a statement speaking of my mental placement at this moment.

The status was something to the idea that no one would notice if I died outside of me wishing them a happy birthday in my silly way that I do.

I didn’t pay much heed to the replies that I received outside of being touched. To be clear: I loved what everyone had to say. I love each and everyone of you.

It got me fixated on the fact that any negative statement results in people worrying if you are okay. The point of me doing the depressing update month is to bring light to that point. There are days where I, and I can only speak for me, find life too daunting to not say anything. Sometimes I feel like screaming into the abyss to NOT have it scream back.

Now, there are days where I want reassurance. I want to have people reach out and say something nice and to remind me that I am not alone in this horrible existence. It does not, necessarily mean that everything is too much that day. It might just be as simple as a lyric, or a quote taken way out of context.

Regardless, if you feel someone is posting about depressing things, don’t shame them for wanting attention. You don’t have to be the one to give it if you feel that it’s inappropriate. If you think that it’s completely unwarranted, ask before chastising.

Fun little thing about Facebook, in particular: you can unfollow someone without unfriending them. If you are offended by someone’s words, just do that. If you aren’t going to be nice, don’t be there at all. Don’t scream from the heavens that you don’t appreciate someone’s words, and don’t make them feel bad because there is a risk that it may be genuine. Yes, you might be a great friend. You might know that person is surrounded by fantastic people. You might even covet part of their existence.

Always remember: YOU AREN’T THAT PERSON.

They might be having a bad day that you know NOTHING about. They might be struggling with something that they don’t want to talk about. They might have undiagnosed or diagnosed depression and deal with everything in ways you cannot understand.

Just let them vent.
Let them be.
Be kind.

Not Inspired

I haven’t touched my latest book in over a week.

I get distracted easily. Between having to put my dog down yesterday (as of writing this), and the bullshit with American elections, I just have not been in the right headspace. I cannot even use current events in my writing.

Well, most current events, anyway.

It really does raise the question: how many words is enough? My ultimate goal is about one-hundred thousand. i am just over seventeen thousand right now, which is horrible seeing as I started writing a year ago. I have been kind of stuck on silly things. Things that I shouldn’t be stuck on, like fantastical concepts that have no place being based in reality.

For instance, my main character discovered a way of space-travel that is damn close to light speed. 99.9% to be exact. We only have reached speeds like that in theories, and we have not figured out a way to get a human to go anywhere near that. For some-fucking-reason, I am determined to have the science at least KIND OF work. I have been staring at the paragraphs (literal paragraphs. Like, maybe 4) determined to have the inspiration to figure this quandary out. Fuck the rest of the text, personal dilemmas faced by the main, or world building: I HAVE TO ANSWER THIS!

I don’t even know why I am allowing myself to be stuck on a point that I could gloss over. The point of the main character is that she is the only scientist alive who has even kind of solved the “dilemma” of overcoming the speed of light as a pace of travel. The crux of the text is actually a more philosophical aside from that idea.

With all of that said, I may be using that as an excuse to not write. Like I mentioned, I could gloss over the technical points. I have a tonne of writing that has to do with my main character getting to the point where her discovery even matters. I have little shame in admitting that the Presidential race of the USA, and subsequent lawsuits (regardless of barring on my immediate life), has been waying heavy on my everything.

Maybe, just maybe, next week will be better.