what have i done?

I have rewritten You’re Not Dead for the re-issue due this year. Friessen Press has this thing where you have to pay for re-issue for hard release every two years. I understand it, but, fuck me, is it worth it?

I’m going to go with a ‘yes’ on that question. Like I mentioned, I have rewritten much of it. Most of which was editing grammar mistakes missed by the editor. Some of it was fixing continuity. It was fucking hard having to reread bits and relive other bits. Especially because I am adding an afterwards.

To be clear, my epilepsy has been since day one in the hospital. To ignore it is to ignore part of what the story is trying to tell. The only problem is that it fucks with the timeline by several years. My initial plan was to just highlight what I went through in the ten months, but to truly tell the story I am trying to tell, I have to push everything to nearly 3 years later. I am worried that it is going to get off topic. My worst fear is that it will come off as ramble-y. Check that: more ramble-y that it already was.

Other interesting note: I am sorry to anyone who got a copy in the state that it was in. I have found so many bloody stupid mistakes that I cannot even blame on epilepsy. Mistakes like using the wrong ‘their’ or talking about hw the Hero walks to the car, opens the door, then finishes his coffee and makes his way to the car.

Yes, I know it was my first attempt at writing. I know that I have no clue what I am doing. Yet, I cannot shake the feeling that I am a COMPLETE FUCKING MORON at times.

ON A FUN SIDE-NOTE THAT FINISHING OFF CALLING MYSELF AN ILLITERATE MORON!

I started planning my second book. I had a talk with my publicist. I mentioned how I am terrible at writing one long narrative and find it much easier and I have more fun writing short 1000 word stories. He thought that I should consider releasing a book of short stories for my next project. After finding old story prompts that I wrote back in high school, I can say that I am actually excited to start a venture into this plan!

I have updated my Patreon so a small monthly donation of $5 will guarantee that every two months you will receive a PDF containing whatever I am working on next. Please, consider giving to that. It will help me feed the animals, pay my rent, and make sure this blog stays open. I would love to thank the donators I have had so far. Without them, you would not be able to see this update.

This weeks recommended listening is Chon. Lovely four-piece that combines metal and jazz. I am probably going to be yelled at for putting it that way, but I do not really know how else to describe it. Musicians will cry, everyone else will be swooned by the beautiful sounds.

update; most . of what I talk about above is no longer relevant. More news in the coming weeks

Advertisements

~LOOKING FOR WRITERS

I have an idea for a digital magazine that would be subscription based. It would take writing from authors and payment would be a percent of the monthly subscription amount. Is there anyone that would be interested in that? E-mail me, and we’ll talk. (it you have better ideas, I’m all ears. I just came up with this idea today)

 

E-Mail is jygrdn(at)gmail(dot)com

Again?

Yeah, it happened again. I forgot to get a blog ready until the last moment possible. I am not going to post a half update, and I am not going to do anything just to fill space, so this beg for forgiveness is what I am going to do.

I swear: next week I will do something worth your time.

…you will die.

I posed a question to my Facebook the other day: if you had to hear one song and then you died, what would it be?

I never really put any further explanation, nor have I voiced my personal choice. I was just curious how many replies I would get, and what kind of songs people would post.

I found the results of the pole confusing. Granted, I never made it explicit what the circumstances of your death would be. Maybe that is why I found the answers so confounding.

The rules are that once the song ends, you will die immediately. What I had in mind was a gunshot or massive heart attack. This would ensure that there would be no way to recover or survive, and the final song that played would follow you into the void.

I had some interesting replies. One fellow thought that he would break my game and just go with the Song that Doesn’t End (you’re welcome for that link) and from that point he would live forever. With the parameters I placed on the question, I fully understand why he went this way. To him, my official reply is: well played, sir. Well played. Enjoy that song following you around for the remainder of all time.

The other big reply that I got was Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody. Though, that song is amazing, it is so long. You would be dwelling on the fact that you are going to die for the entire 5:55 that the song goes on for. I do not know about you, but for the almost six minuets it is playing, I would not be able to enjoy it. I would just be cringing and counting until my demise.

That is why my choice would be Mother Night Revisited by Premonitions of War. The song is stupid short (1:21) and it is busy, loud, and distracting. The cacophony it creates would drown out my thoughts of my impending demise and it ends abruptly, not giving me any time to dwell on the fact that it is ending.

Maybe I am just biased, but I want to just cease living, not contemplate my entire life throughout my favourite song.

AMENDMENT:

Well, amendment is a strong word for the situation. More like another idea, or concept, that I would like to share because it is so cool!

The album Transatlanticism by Death Cab for Cutie is one of my favourites of all time. It is dark, cynical, honest, and beautiful. One thing that it does (in the most sneaky way) is open with a machine sound. The album plays and that machine sound seems to stop. Where it gets really cool is that the sound does not actually stop, or even change volume. The sound hovers in the back. It is not fully noticeable again until the very last song where the guitar and vocals clear for a moment to revel that it has been there the entire time. Until then, one may not notice just how invasive the sound has been through the entire album.

Then: it stops.

The album ends, therefore the sound ends. Actually, if you wish to get petty, the sound ends one second before the album does. The silence is deafening. At that moment, you are left to reminisce on every word that was sang up until that point.

I am pretty sure that it was not intentional, but it beautifully demonstrates my view on death. Everything ends abruptly and there is nothing.

Fuck, that sounds bleak.

ANYWAY: I am curious. Please, let me know in the comments what song you would like to die to immediately preceding. Do you have a reason for the choice? What is your take on my choice?

Guess what I have been doing?

What a misleading title. It implies that I have been doing something interesting, but, alas, unless you find me rewriting You’re Not Dead interesting, you will feel cheated.

You’re Not Dead is coming up to being released two years ago in July. My contract with Friessen is up, and I am planning on doing a second release with more meat in its bones. I have already fixed two grammar and a continuity error. Both of these items embarrassed me greatly, but filled me with much rage as I had an editor who, apparently, did fuck all.

UPDATE A FEW HOURS BEFORE UPLOAD! I found a form that I misread at the time. Though it does not excuse everything, there were some ideas that I just did not take to heart at the time.

So, yes: there will be more news on that front as it cumulates.

I have also started piecing together my next release. I am planning a series of short stories bound together in one collection. My publicist thinks it a good plan, but I am curious what the general populace thinks?

Also, I know I just said something about it, but I have changed my Patreon already to make it a five dollar donation gets you whatever I am working on. I decided to lower the bar for entry simply because the releases will not be edited.

Interesting news about the week: my brother turns 28 today (the 25th)! Is that not exciting as fuck!? I know this will post a couple of days late (and I will see him before it goes live) so happy belated!

I have also found a better way of doing the “Have You Not HEARD” posts. Every blog I am going to put a song you need in your life. I will also state if the whole album is worth your time, or just that song.

This week, it was a toss-up, but I am going with my favourite music video. Listing by Minus the Bear gets the title simply because it is just so damned cute. Does not help that the song is amazing, and the whole album is a Godsend.
I digress. Jazzy, calm, amazing. Great to drum to, a lot of fun to sing with. Far from my favourite MtB song, but easily in my top ten. Please, listen and enjoy.

I did a bad

So, I was doing all this planning and research for my next update. It was going to be another top-10 list of albums that I highly recommend listening to. I was planning on going about it entirely differently and I was genuinely excited to share it.

Then: I did something horrible.

I do not have a strong excuse, but it did not save I probably hit the “be a moron and throw away hours of work?” button when it came up.

REGARDLESS: I spent seven hours getting together some amazing albums, finding songs, and writing blurbs about each one. It probably was not all that good, but I thought it was fantastic.

I have talked before on this site about the importance of doing something you enjoy to survive another moment in this bleak existence. I have three sources for distraction: music, writing, my wife. That is not to say that is all I have in life, quite the opposite: between friends and family, my calendar is rarely empty. I will say those are my favourite and most time consuming things because I make them so. I would not have it any other way.

Let’s talk about stuff

Over the last few posts I have made, I have received several messages privately expressing similar situations you all have found yourself in.

I am honoured that you want to speak to me, of all people. I will be honest: I have no clue what to say. I love that you feel you can talk to me, and I will always be a willing shoulder.

My recommendation is, though, that you leave a comment on the posts. Leave your mark. Maybe someone will relate or have better judgment that I on the situations.

That does not mean don’t talk to me! I am just offering ideas to get some better and less cynical views.

Holy Fish (Shameful Sheep inspired)

  1. Does anyone else have things that autocorrect has changed for the better? Even if it is better in just your mind. My personal favourite was that my phone could never allow me to use such profanity as “fuck” and would therefore always change it to “fish.” It really does change the tone of what you are saying drastically. Usually, it would be for the better. “what the fish?” usually sounds less petty than the proper. Unfortunately, that very phrase can be used at the worst times, making everything you say sound sarcastic and dismissive. “I was just fired” is not a good time to have your phone correct your words for a PG-13 audience.
  2. I owe a couple of people huge apologies. I keep receiving EPs and albums for me to check out, and I always intend to do so. Recently, I have just plain forgotten. When I finally do remember, it is when I am getting another collection of sounds to listen to, then look up and thinkĀ FUCK! [SO & SO] SENT ME SOMETHING LAST NIGHT. I will just simply say that I am so very sorry, and I promise that I will listen to everything over the next few days. As I write this, I am already queuing up two more. That will take my number of forgotten gems down from eight to two. The one is actually from a producer I worked with on the Chance Procedure album, Ryan Prasad. He is a brilliant musician, and I am beyond excited to listen to his new work!
  3. You may have seen the announcement in my last post, but I am going to be giving Patreon supporters who back me more that $10CDN/month a free PDF of what I am working on. I do not think I made it clear enough, so allow me to elaborate. I write a lot of short stories that I do not post anywhere. I do, actually, write more than one of those a month. I am also looking to change my publication strategies over the next little bit. So if you have recommendations for my next step, please pass them along.
  4. I have stolen this whole numbered layout from The Shameful Sheep. I cannot even pretend to be as funny as her, or even remotely funny, but I love her style. If you have not looked over her works, I highly recommend it. She is funny, brilliant, and sarcastic as all hell.
  5. I almost forgot: WordPress wants my monies again. The orginal URL for this site (which is too long and complex for me to remember, let alone type out) has come up for renewal. I have decided against it, and keep getting little notices every time I open this blog up. If you are having a similar issue, please let me know somehow. I am working hard as balls to fix it but seem to have hit a kind of roadblock.

I am sorry for you dealing with it, potentially.

500 words, fuckers!

~PATREON UPDATE AND IMPORTANT QUESTION

I updated the Patreon to include a nifty reward. If you donate $10 a month, you will now be privy to a free PDF of a book in some state, plus your name in the Thank You list at the end of said book.

Of course, this will be a month to month thing, and there will not be a release every month. I do, however, want to get to a point where I can write a novella a month.

To those out of the know, a Novella is roughly 100 pages: a little longer than a short story but shorter than a full novel. I take great pride in my ability to write those so far. I have actually been working on another couple as we speak.

I would also like to announce that I am re-working You’re Not Dead and trying to find a proper publisher. That is not saying anything bad about Friessen Press. Quite the opposite, really. They gave me the confidence to pursue writing on a grander scale. They are self-publication, however. Though they have fantastic tools and decent distribution, it costs far too much to continue on with them.

Now, for the important question: Do you have something that you listen to while doing artistic things? I have been spinning Kevin Drew’s Spirit If… album at almost grotesque amounts. Between that, and Do Make Say Think, I have right to believe that my wife is loosing her mind with the peculiar sounds radiating from my computer.

MEH.