oh hai thurr

This is kind of a long overdue introduction to me, because I am an arrogant person who seems to write far too much about myself.

I was born in London, Ontario. Lived in Ingersoll for a number of years. Moved to Cambridge for 20 years starting about the age of 6. I went through elementary school and had little to speak of, as far as doing anything too noteworthy. High school is when things got kind of neat!

I started my own record label when I was 15. It was right after recording my first demo with my first band and I felt that it gave us some credibility. It did not, but I felt special anyway. That was All Cut Up. I was with that band from 2005 to 2009. Over that stretch, I helped in the writing and recording of 4 sessions, including 3 EPs and a full length album. We disbanded, and I joined The Twin (who kind of tricked me). I was supposed to just be doing studio sessions while they figured out the first album. They told me that they were looking for another member. About two months into playing with them, they informed me that I was always intended to be their full drummer.

Three EPs and a few hundred shows later, that chapter closed because I had started to join Chance Procedures. It was just me and two others doing instrumental tracks that carried the burden of keeping attention with nothing but fantastic hooks.

From 2007 onward, I was working at a used record shop. I loved my job, and it exposed me to literal months worth of music that I still love today. I was hired part-time, but slowly I moved my way to being the manager of the Cambridge location.

One night, my parents were concerned about the way I was acting and took me to a hospital. I died two times in the following two weeks. I was in a coma for just shy of a month, and I don’t actually have memories from the middle of Octobre 2013 to February 2014.

I was quadriplegic for the next six months. I moved from Toronto, to Cambridge, to Hamilton. All of those hospitals and no exact diagnosis. I regained movement of my arms shortly after I entered Hamilton, and I was finally able to announce my continued existence to the world.

Since I can no longer play the drums like I used to, I started writing to express myself in some way. I now have a book out (3rd edition not released at the time of writing) and another on the way. I know I glazed over several interesting steps, but I assure you, my book goes further into detail about what I went through.

Any additional questions? Leave a comment somewhere! I’ll do my best to answer!

Public Speaking

Hey! So, I’ve been invited to a thing. Join me and a few other Canadian authors as we talk music, inspiration, and (I assume*) writing!

*we will be talking writing, but I am more excited by talking music!

The event happens tomorrow (Apr 29th) at 1930 EDT!

Oh! A reminder to follow me on Twitter! I don’t use it often, but I feel like I have some important takes that may or may not be relevant to people’s day-to-day! (not only music quotes, I promise!!)

Overwhelmed

Hi!

I’ve been horrible. I haven’t done an update worth anyone’s time on any public forum. Not that I haven’t tried, but simply because everything I have done, as of late, has turned out poorly.

This is the fourth or fifth time trying to write this blog, and I have written several about other topics that I have scrapped. I have recorded a new vlog/podcast a few times, and get so frustrated in the editing phase that I scrap them completely. Even Facebook and Twitter posts are deleted before they are posted, for no reason outside of vanity.

I think part of the issue, but not the whole issue, is that I am in flux again. I am sitting on my hands waiting for my novella to go to print. I have three books on the go, only one is at any point of finality, and it’s still not long or good enough.

I wonder if I am being too hard on myself, or if I just need a month where I actually get some time off. I can hear it now: YoU aRe UnEmPlOyEd!

To fight that point, I am working on three books, pencilling out a new vlog/podcast, and I am trying to keep coming up with new blog posts. So, yes, a month off of everything would be nice.

None of this includes the stress of the day-to-day, which is more annoying than anything. I have some reasons to think that I am only a month off of better and more stable things. I won’t get into all of that yet.

The end point is that I need some support. Emotionally would be great, but I would also like to hit 300 followers. Consider donating to my Patreon so I can keep progressing this site, and maybe look into something else cool. The next book I am for sure releasing is almost written: I am doing my reading of it to look for structure issues. If you would like to be included in the substance editing, let me know somehow.

I haven’t recorded it in a while, so I’ll say it here.

I love you.

Thanks, 2020

This might be a hot take, but I am actually retroactively happy about 2020 happening. Did it mark the beginning of a horrible existence: yes. Did we lose some amazing personalities? Also, yes.

The good came from the realization that things could not continue to work the way they have been. People, en masse, took notice at how broken the money markets were. For the first time, it was acknowledged that people in retail positions had incredible power. We saw art, redefined art, and witnessed people doing things to make the world better. We actually started to hear people talking about those in less affluent positions and discussing ways to make their lives better. We had some governments actually take notice of environmental issues, science made incredible strides, and discoveries that, granted, had to be made were made in record time.

It brought light to the horrible mindsets of people we have had in our lives for years, for better or for worse. Yes, it was terrible you lost that close friend you have had for decades. At the same time, you watched them get torn asunder because of thoughts and views that you had always questioned.

Yes, 2020 was horrible for a lot of reasons. Yes, that year was the worst, globally, in a century. We are still feeling the effects to this day, and we probably will for years to come. So many of the changes to come out of this hell, however, have made things better for everyone. I just wish it didn’t take the “end of the world” to make it all happen.

horror

I have been trying to avoid revealing my writing style for the past number of years — in part, because I try to do everything. Yes, I do see how that is bad for me. It is impossible to write without taking tone into account.

The other day, I tried my hand at horror writing. It was far from conventional, and yet was the interest was the same as prior things I have written. The one positinve for Twitter that I can find is instant gratification for projects, even if the word count is very small.

Realizing that I enjoyed the freedom of classifying something as horror but still getting to explore the topics that I enjoy demonstrated to me that my organic style was closer to horror than most other themes and topics. I don’t mean the classic “oh shit the killer is going to kill me” style, but more the marriage of psycological discomfort mixed with unhappy endings.

Yes, it could be argued that I have given myself a distorted label of horror. Yes, applying one genre to myself is a bit constrictive. I have gone a very long time writing, trying to stay in this grey area of not being classified. Once I noticed that I use horror elements and bleak descriptions and allowed myself to lean into that field, it was more relaxing than constricting.

When I call myself a “horror writer”, please realize that I am taking it more from a Lovecraft angle than a Steven King one. I am exploring sadness, rather than a carnel expression of fear and anguish.

This is a strange post, objectively. I think that the best way to explain it for everyone is the idea that I tried, for years, to fit into a small sized shirt. I finally accepted that I am a medium, and now everything is very exciting for me. I even looked at a project I started just shy of a year ago that was completely NOT something I would normally write, and changes that I have to make are minimal.

Going forward, know that my books are supposed to make you uncomfortable. I am going to be writing books to highlight just how dark somethings can be. I want to make the turning of a page only possible though the idea of morbid curiosity.

Short Video Notice

It is not even 30 seconds, but it serves as a notification that You’re Not Dead is being released soon. I have completed the editing, and changed some stuff around. If you are in a position where you manage distribution of text, let me know the places to get hold of you. I am kind of out of exact dates, but I assume that I will be getting the forms this coming week. Those forms will help me get my text out to the masses.

Also, if you use the YouTube subscribe aspect, I have been a little slow as of late getting new vlogs and whatnot done, but good weather is around the corner! I hope to increase releases in the next few months.

Protest

I was recently faced by someone who was in a camp for defending a protest that I did not.

Depending on where you stand, I either come off as someone who wants balance to the status quo, or potentially as someone who is anti-protest.

Let me make that point as clear as I can: I am very pro-protest. I love the ideas, the discussion that can come out of them, and the idea of a collection of people standing for a cause.

HOWEVER.

The point of protest is to bolster a point that you feel is being handled in the wrong fashion. In Canada, you have the right to protest (within certain parameters). That also means that I have a right to disagree with your protest.

The kind of person I am, I will not intentionally attempt to undermine a position. If I see flaws in the logic, I will point them out if I am asked about them. If I out-and-out disagree with the cause being screamed about, it is my right to state that. I choose to (mostly) in private. I do have opinions, but I will not voice them if I see no benefit.

Where I get a bit squirrely is surrounding the trucker protest we had in Canada a week or two ago. I was not even sure if I disagreed with it because everywhere I could find information about the “cause” they were fighting for, there seemed to be blatant discrepancies and contradictions.

I am afraid that it undermined real protests for important issues that we see all over this country. Especially around Native rights, the bodies of children that were found in basements of residential schools, and legitimate concerns around abuse of power. This really did come off more as a kid throwing a tantrum as opposed to an actual fight against “tyranny”, or whatever they said they were against.

Yes, I will probably get some flack about my stance, and I welcome someone to explain how the truckers were in any right. I know I made a video recently talking about how I was “done” in regards to things of this nature, but my point was that I was done explaining the same point hundreds of times just to be asked by the same person again.

Editing is depressing

Yes, I love it when someone else edits my work. Yes, I love when someone tells me what I did wrong, and I love trying to fix things.

HOWEVER.

It will always be depressing when I get work back and see the edits in the triple-digits. Especially when most of the mistakes are stupid and seem like they are things I would NEVER do wrong. Examples are using the wrong “there/their”, switching affect and effect, and missing commas.

Yes, it was a “book” that I wrote in a week. Yes, it was under 500 edits in a manuscript that was well over 15000 words long. I mean, with all of these considerations, it is amazing that there were so few mistakes. Yet, I felt my soul cry a bit with every red-mark that I located.

On the plus side: only 3 comments were made towards content. They were good points, and my logic behind the mistakes was horribly flawed. The other saving grace was that I noticed the mistakes as soon as I read over the sentence. I cannot decide whether that is because I am a much better writer, or because I have no read the material for so long.

My eventual point is that, if you can, get someone else to edit your work. Especially because, in my case, over 50% of the mistakes were words spelt correctly, and the grammar was sound enough to be ignored by spellcheck.

I’m so bored.

Have you noticed the state of the world? It’s predictable. It’s repetitive. It’s predictable. Between the disregard for decency, the inaccurate comparisons to Nazi Germany, and whatever Russia is doing, I am beyond underwhelmed with the state of everything currently. Even music has done little new to blow my mind as of late.

I don’t pretend to have needed answers to all that ails the world. I don’t even have answers for what ails my immediate life. I am stuck in this state of being completely under, yet over, whelmed and angry.

Yes, angry. Not upset, not depressed, angry. I want to slap all the people that have opinions against their own interest. I am floored at the complete disregard for their own interests. Is that an arrogant position to have? Probably. Which compounds the level of anger that I feel.

I am not even going to list what’s wrong with everything right now. I’m too tired. I have to struggle to get out of bed recently, because I just can’t with this bullshit. Yes, part of it is that I don’t have all the sources to back my points up.

That’s another part that frustrates me to no end: the fact that I need to justify every point I make because, somehow, they are novel opinions to have. Even though we have done all, and I mean ALL, of this before.

That’s part of why I haven’t been writing here as much as of late. I mean, I have a new release coming in the next two months. One would be vindicated for assuming that I should have a bigger footprint.

Magic!!

Hi, I vanished. I have been doing far too much stressing over things that I cannot begin to have an effect on.

I’m not going to explain further.

I will be doing more updates; probably next month. I hope to hear more about book release, distribution, as well as more exciting things that I hope to have set up in the next bit.

In the meantime, here is my Patreon where you can help me feed my pets. I have had the same few people forever, and I appreciate them greatly. I hope to add to that number, and I would very much love to make you part of the family!