a brief reprise from depression month

I tried my hand at making a podcast. Let me know how it turned out.

An apparent misstep.

I started writing this blog to keep people abreast with my physical situation. Then, I started writing to express myself. For the last year, I have been putting a greater weight on music reviews than I have either the former.

I want to be a resource for the community. The biggest issue where that is concerned: I don’t know what people need. If there was a more direct question, I am sure that I would be able to fill in the necissary steps to complete it. Even if the answer was getting help, I would know where to ask.

Consider this me tapping out of the review world for a little bit. Again, I will be doing them, but space them out more. Kind of like how I used to go about a month between spotlights.

In the meantime, if anyone can think of a particular situation in regards to disability they would like me to illuminate, PLEASE do not hesitate to ask. I think my first revisit to that world will be talking about how horrible air seat cushions are.

a lukewarm warning about May

As I have done in the past, May is going to be depressing update month. Every Sunday, I will be posting some depressing fact.

I am just warning you because I have been informed that it might be a bit much for some. I see them as important things to think on.

I am posting this a bit early because of two reasons:
1) I don’t have anything else to post, and I feel that it has been too long
2) Just giving you ample time to remember.

I will be doing a more formal post (essay style) the day before I start posting them. That way, you remember not to click them by accident.

While I have you attention, I will be posting something that I am super excited about in the next 48 hours. I don’t have the exact time, yet. When I get the link, I will be sharing it with you!

Why “Let’s Plays” are great

This is kind of a different topic for me, so if my information is off-base, please forgive me and give me proper sources below.

Let’s Plays: I cannot think of a more decisive topic in my house. I think they are fantastic, my dad thinks they are a waste of time. He wonders why I am willing to watch someone play a game for a day worth of video as opposed to play the game myself. I get it, I really do.

My reason for watching someone play a game comes to only three reasons. The first of which is I am always broke. It would be fantastic if I had all of the money for every console and game that my heart desires, but I do not even break cost of living most months. Seeing how most games that hold my interest are either 70+, or on a console that I don’t own (see the Switch), I have no ways of actually playing said game. The only way I can experience it is by watching others play it. Most Let’s Play(ers?) already play in a similar way that I do: they search all of the dark corners for hidden bits of lore. That is a (mostly) free way I can get the entertainment that I crave.

The second reason is time. Most games that I want to play (Persona 5, for instance) take hours, if not days, to finish. With the cavalcade of games that come out every quarter, I do not have even a quarter of the time required to play everything. Throw in old games, open-ended games (Minecraft, Terraria, Grand Theft Auto) and games that piggy-back off of older titles (Life is Strange) and I would not have time to sleep or eat, let alone write. Watching someone play for an hour while describing the lore surrounding the areas that peak my interest satiates that part of me that craves all the games.

The third reason is just simply skill. For instance, I love the concept of the Dark Souls franchise. I own all of them, and I have put dozens of hours into each. I am not good at Dark Souls. I have put the dozens of hours into them and die incredibly quickly, sometimes not even being able to get out of the first place. They are made to be very hard. Part of why I love them is that they do not hold the players hand and refuse to guide anyone to anything. I still love the atmosphere, art, and worlds of these games. I can ONLY experience these games through a third party.

For these reasons, and I’m sure that I’m forgetting more, I love Let’s Plays. I get my shots of lore, as well as get to experience the parts of games that I would love. I still play games like Tetris or Hearthstone myself, because watching someone else play would just frustrate me (Everyone has their own way of being “good”).

I have not done the research, but I am curious how Let’s Plays effect game sales in the long term. I have a pretty good feeling that the explosion of popularity for Minecraft was partially fuelled by groups like The Yogscast, but I remain ignorant to if Atlas’ refusal to allow anyone to publish gameplay of Persona 5 has effected longterm sales.

Let’s face it, anyone who wanted to know anything about Persona 5 has bought Persona 5.

Let’s do more!

I have been contemplating what else to do outside of writing and producing. I have considered bolstering my YouTube channel, but that would feel forced. I am currently working on a new book, so writing a screenplay on the side seems a bit cumbersome. I cannot draw, and really do not have an urge to learn.

This is the conundrum that I find myself in: I feel like I should be doing more in the arts, but I have no idea where to put my effort into. Even worse, I hate everything I do even when I am told it’s okay. Hating everything you do is kind of the “artist-dilemma” though. I have yet to meet anyone doing anything involving some sort of art who thinks that their work is greater-than-par. I have met a few who think that they are hitting a new niche, which is cool.

I just keep holding out that Hannah will give me new Chance Procedure things to work on. I made that video for Patient Zero a while ago, and I have an itch to make that a full song. I have been in studio enough to know that you have to be prepared, so I’m not pushing as hard as I could.

Oh! Interesting fact; my old singer (Rahib) just had his birthday! I don’t know why I had an urge to share that on this blog, but there it is! He’s 30, so he is 15 days older than my little brother.

Side note: have you picked up the latest version of my book? It’s almost 3X larger, more grammatically correct, and (I might be biased, but) WAY better. I mean, it’s 1230298341X more depressing, but WAY better. Amazon finally updated some shit, though it’s still awkward to navigate. I have done everything I can on my end to make it easier. Review comes out soon, I hope!

Finally

It was explained to me today just how Amazon dot com was going to play!

You have to physically select them from a list of sellers to get a copy of You’re Not Dead. From the list that I can see at the time of writing this, they are the cheapest seller of both Hard and Soft covers. It should be the right one, but comment below if this isn’t the case and I (personally) will go through steps to have that rectified!

Anyway, I will put the links to both versions below. Please, let me know if there are any additional issues.

softcover || hardcover

Gearing Up

You may remember that last year I did Depressing Update month all through May. My plan is to do it again, releasing a new fact every Sunday: like I did last year. I have two lined up already, and scheduled for the first two weeks. I am, however, experiencing a kind of writers block. I know that I will have enough for the month, I will find the two remainder weeks. We all know that this reality is messed up and dark. I keep getting distracted by the fact that we all die and cannot do anything to stop it. I did, however, publish that fact last year.

I am not releasing this to worry (?) you, but I just felt like venting.

JUST A REMINDER: there are still downloads available for the first 100 pages of You’re Not Dead, though we are reaching the end of the 222 I decided to set. It should help with the isolation blues.

OR NOT.

Fuck knows that I am cynical.

International Wheelchair Day?

Did you know that there is an International Wheelchair Day on the first of March? I had no idea. I have things to say on the matter:

Yes, I do think it’s a good thing to have. It reminds people that there are some of us in a wheelchair. There are a lot of us, for sure. However, there is a very small percent of the world population. I feel like pointing out that fact may create a social backlash revoking some accessibility actions.

I would love to be proven wrong. I want the world to be accessible. Not even for me, but for everyone. Let’s face it: who doesn’t love being able to reach things on a top shelf? Who wouldn’t benefit from lighter, more accessible doors? I am not saying that a ramp into every location is nessissary, but not having access to even a temporary one, is just selfish at this point.

I am not going to go out of my way to make an issue at every place I go if they are not accessible. That’s not my job, and it is too large of an issue to put on one person. I am going to scream into the internet and point out just how STUPID it is when things aren’t. If you are a store, you are cutting yourselves off of a potential source of revenue.

I went on a rant a few months ago over on Twitter about how stupid it is when companies brag about having accessible parking now, only because not having it stunts any potential client growth, but now I am going to leave this here as a point of rally for people with disabilities of all sorts to raise their voices. I know that there are some things that are impossible to plan for, but at least companies should try. Just try.

Wow: got sidetracked there. My initial point was how I didn’t know International Wheelchair Day was a thing. I blame society. Yep. Point finally concluded.

Favourite Year

I find myself doing this weird deep-dive across my life where I try to pin-point my favourite year. I don’t have a reason, and rarely does it have any bearing.

I hate that I resort to when I started working at a media store. It feels like a co-out, like the only reason I pick that year is because that was the first full year that I got more exposure than ever to everything. Then, I remember how, for the first year anyway, I just filled back catalogue in both music and movies. I mean, yes: all the new music I got into was released that year.

NAME THE FUCKING YEAR JAY

K. Fine. It’s the year 2007. So many great albums came out that year. It was the last year of All Cut Up and we recorded probably the most fun EP of our three year run. The Twin started to form late that year. Livestalk & the Bodies was put into motion right at the end of the year. Battles and Dear & the Headlights recorded and released 2 of my favourite albums of all time. Not to mention the plethora of mind-bending games that came out that year like BioShock, Portal and Mass Effect: 3 series that started that year and I remained a fan for a long time.

In the movie realm, all I have to mention is Juno and point out how amazing that soundtrack was. I could go further, but that one film sums up a large part of that year for me.

Interpersonally, I flourished that year. I don’t have many interesting stories, but needless to say that I was rarely home. The shows had all but dried up that year, so it was low on the totem of personal achievements. Maybe I should take that as a note: years that I don’t achieve anything matter more? That might be complete bullshit. There is a co-relation between years where I find happiness and being comfortable artistically. From 2005 to now-ish I have done something artistically placating every year. Hell, even this year I renewed my book for a second edition that is double in length and has half as many grammatical errors.

Do you have a favourite year? Want to gloat about some achievement that you have hit and never felt like you had the praise you deserved for it? Let’s talk about it either in the comments, or hit me up on FaceBook! There is a page, if you don’t feel like seeking me out personally!