The Book

My plan is to make this my last post until the release, just because information for the next week will be slow and minimal.

Yes, I am reissuing the book I released a few years ago. With that said, I am going to be more than doubling the length. I fixed so many stupid and dumb mistakes that were in the initial release. I filled out at least two chapters, and added the first year of anewsin releases (plus a couple more). The digital copy will be the same cover as the original, but the hard/soft covers will be black with white writing.

This book marks the initial release of the anewsin volumes that I plan to release every couple of years. The format that I used is a lot of fun to write, and it lends itself to releasing short stories with keeping some sort of cognizant flow.

I AM STILL RELEASING STORIES ON HERE EVERY TWO MONTHS.

The released versions will be perfected and cleaned up further than what I have on here. As for editing, I plan on using Luka’s talents for as long as I can. At the very least, she makes everything so much easier to read because I tend to ramble and get lost in my own thoughts. (Not to mention that I make stupid mistakes…)

Anyway, the next post I make will be updating everyone with links and further information.

KEEP IN MIND:
all Patreons who donate for more than two months, regardless of amount, get their names in the thanks at the end of the text!

So, please: tell everyone who might be interested! I will do my best to keep you up-to-date with information when I get it! I love you!

Do what you say you will.

Something that has been literally holding my life back is people making empty promises. I couldn’t tell you how often I am told that someone will do something, then either don’t come through, or pretend that the conversation never happened.

Now, it is something entirely different if you say “I’m going to visit every so often” then fail to do so. That falls under the category of wishful thinking. Therefore, you’re a dick, but you haven’t ruined lives or bailed on anything greater than a nice gesture.

The kind of promises that I am talking about is saying something along the lines of offering to pay for a service, only to renege that offer past the point of no return. Especially when the decision was made only because you make yourself available on fallback.

Example: when I published my first book, I did so independently. That is to say that I paid for printing, editing, and distribution. Now, I did this with no expectation to be paid by anyone for doing any of it, but I was promised by a third party that they would reimburse me for what I have put out. I made sure, triple checked, then went ahead with aditional things that made the publication easier. Thing that I would not have bothered with if I wasn’t promised that they would cover the whole cost.

I am well aware that it was expensive: it cost me around three-thousand upfront. My issue lies with the idea that I dropped another two-thousand on advertising and localization that I would not have if I didn’t think that the initial was going to be covered.

Now, is that my fault? I cannot say that it’s not. I didn’t wait for the money to appear before I spent more. If I was smarter, I would have waited for the exchange before I went ahead and dropped more onto that failing venture.

Please, keep in mind: I say failing because I made back about a fifth of what I put into the project. I do NOT regret the book, though I do feel like the rewrite that I have half completed is MUCH better. More news on that in the coming weeks.

That is one, very shallow, example of what I am talking about. I could go into issues surrounding school, medical stuff, rent, dogs, food, and all of this would ignore the times that I have been in a good financial standing and had my questions disregarded to generate a much worse situation. I am not going to bring up spacifics. There is too high of risk of the people involved reading this and realizing that I am talking about them, and I don’t want to deal with any of it right now.

I guess this devolved into a rant about money. Again. It seems to be a reocuring topic on this blog, and I am very sorry about that. I very much wish that I could ignore money and just focus on other things, like writing and walking.

Side-note: does anyone else find it mildly offensive that society puts so much emphasis on walking? I realize that this comes off as me justifying me not walking, but that just strengthens my point. The fact that I don’t walk shouldn’t make me seem like a burden or someone you need to caudle. In fact, what I have survived (both medically and in life) should inspre the opposite reaction from people. I AM OKAY. I WILL SURVIVE.

Another aside, please consider giving to my Patreon. I am okay, physically and mentally. I cannot afford to feed my dogs some weeks, though. I might be okay physically or whatever, but that doesn’t mean that I can hold a traditional job. Plus, everyone is so close to hitting the $100 mark! I want to do something amazing for that number. I want to post something fascinating, or do a video, or bake dinner for people, or SOMETHING. If you have ideas, place them in the comments below. Please, consider helping me hit that mark. Even just a dollar is fucking fantastic. PLUS and the ansP subscription is only $1 right now! That means you get releases early!

PATREON SUPPORTER TALE :: Chrissy & Adam

I have this tendency, which I consider an excellent one to have, where I keep friends close for a very long time. Chrissy is far from an exception, and Adam and I have a very long history.

I dated her cousin in grade nine for a while. Chrissy, because of the mutual person between us, started talking. We continued to talk long after her cousin and I had broken up. We just shared a strange sense of humour and took great amusement in the stranger things in life.

Adam and I were in the same grade and hung around with a few of the same people. In high school, we were not all that close. Not for any reason in particular. He grew up in a very different way to me. It took me a long time to catch up to his maturity. Not that I was particularly immature, but more we got to the same place taking very different paths.

I can hear the questions now why I seem to be doing yet another two patreon updates at once. Chrissy and Adam got married a couple of years ago. The account used was for Chrissy, but I know that Adam is sending his love, as well.

If I am wrong, I will let you know. I will write something special up for Chrissy and probably one for Adam as well. However, I think that I am right.

OH! Fun tidbit of information. Chrissy’s mom works for Friesen Press and they did the run of my book! I probably would not have had the confidence if it was not for that strange connection.

…and for the last note, this marks 100$ worth of donations on my Patreon! I am beyond honoured! I had no idea that I would have such support and I thank and love every person who has taken the time to look it over!

You’re Not Dead version 2

I have noticed myself having a hard time accepting that people can do obvious things, such as walking. It’s probably just because I have spent damn near a sixth of my life in a wheelchair.

Oh yeah: that’s a thing. I have been in the chair for five years as of the 30th. Well, at least unable to walk. I guess it could be argued that I first used a wheelchair in February when I went to that aquarium in Toronto, and had done nothing by lie in bed for four months.

ANYWAY.

My point is more that, as people get make assumptions towards things I can do, I find myself surprised at what they can do. My wife and I have been apartment searching as of late, and our search has been limited due to steps to the door with no wheelchair access available. I forget that people do not have to be concerned with things like that. I forget that even a flight of stairs that travels up one story of a building is of no consequence to an abled. The threshold can be up a foot because people have knees and are able to get up that no problem.

I have a similar, but not as extreme, issue with the apartment I am in right now. There is a CM-high lip to get into my unit. I am able to get over it no issue usually, but it does create a challenge in the event I am carrying groceries, laundry, or packages.

On the flip-side, so I do not always bitch and complain how hard life is, watching someone who does not use a wheelchair try to do ANYTHING is the funniest thing ever. Everyone knows you push the wheels and propel the wheel, but there is almost always a moment of confusion that casts over faces whenever an able bodied person gets into a wheelchair for the first time.

AND GOD FORBID YOU COAX THEM INTO SOMETHING MORE COMPLICATED!

Anyone who has spent a few hours with me knows that I love to pull wheelies. Just stationary ones, and even then I am far from impressive. I THOUGHT. My dad tried to pull one after fixing my breaks up one day and fell backwards instantly. I had to hide my face because I could not hide the smirk that traveled across my face.

In anewsinPublication news, people who sign up on Patreon before the month is out at $3 or more are promised a copy of the revised and updated You’re Not Dead.
WITH THAT SAID:
I am still working on fixing all the things I placed awkwardly in the pages of that book. I have already added several pages by just explaining things properly. Who knew that if you write things well, they turn out decent?

ANYWAY: Next month I am releasing the first chapter as the ansP release. I will not be sending the Patreons anything until the book is done, and then they will get the book in its entirety.

~PATREON SUPPORTER TALE :: Bree Harrison

Bree and I go back a number of years. Early me playing drums for the Twin, anyway. She was that girl with the expensive camera, pushing her way to the front of concerts, trying to get fantastic photographs of bands. She was very good at taking pictures. To my knowledge, she never monetized the practice, but she could have.

I digress.

So, as I was saying, I saw her around long before I talked to her. She started hanging out with members of my band. Me, with the license, got to know her over driving her from the concerts back to my vocalist house. She grew on me, much as a fungus would grow on a rock.

No, that analogy paints a bad picture. Let me try the metaphor again.

Her and I became quick friends. We both rarely slept, and would spend many nights exchanging solum looks while we helped people through many different stages of inebriation. We both had a similar outlook on life, friends, music, and family. I am not saying that her and I had the same woes, but we would find the same things funny.

Like Katie, I considered Bree a sister. Unlike Katie, Bree lived in the same town, and I would see her almost everyday some months.

She moved across country to BC a number of years ago. Between that event, and me getting sick, I have only seen her a couple of times in the last few years. I miss her dearly.

I also have to mention that SHE DONATED $100! I asked her swiftly if that was on purpose, she assured me that it was, though temporary as her work was seasonal.

So, I conclude with: FUCK YOU, BREE! I love you and I hope we can spend time together soon.

Thanks to her donation, the next ansP releases will be back to back months. So, to clarify, September, October, November, and December will all see releases. We’ll see what the donations are like, and I’ll see if releases continue in this pattern for the new year.

~PATREON SUPPORTER TALE :: Joey Hartman

Joey: you have been a fantastic support in the last month. I feel bad because we had a very uneventful friendship. Especially how we got talking.

To explain to everyone, Joey was that guy who went to the occasional local show. I liked his hair, but we never really talked. Not for any sort of negative reasons, we just traveled in different circles.

Then: he became that guy dating my ex girlfriend. Then, soon moved to that guy dating my ex-girlfriend AND living with my other ex. There was never any bad blood, he was always super friendly when we ran into each other.

No, I was the douche ho.ding onto resentment secretly, for a little bit anyway. I got over it quickly. I don’t even have a good excuse why I was ever so uncomfortable. I think it was just me being a teenager/young man.

Due to me being silly, Joey and I didn’t share in many ‘coming-of-age’ tales. There was about two years where we were both in metal bands and shared the stage a few times. He was a vocalist, and quite a good one at that.

Anyway, that ex-girlfriend of mine he was dating? Yeah, they got married a couple of years ago. Now they have a beautiful baby daughter. I have nothing but respect for the two of them, and I wish them the best of luck.

Thank you, Joey. You are one of the good ones.

PATREON UPDATE: I added a few new tiers. I am always looking for new ideas, and would love to hear everyone out. Also, my update for Sunday gives more details and, frankly, better details. I just wrote it, so I am not going to put it all down again. Keep posted for that update Sunday at Eight AM.

One thing I forgot to mention: there have been some that have not actually selected a tier. As you can tell by my rampant explanation of my past over and over again, it does not affect me directly. It does, unfortunately, effect the algorithms around the visibility of the site PLEASE make sure to select a tier. There are options if you do not want anything other than praise (because who does not want praise?).

~PATREON SUPPORTER TALE :: Pat Hussey

TO BE CLEAR: I was informed afterwards that he and his girlfriend are both contributing, but I am too lazy to change the title.

Pat and I go back a very, very, long time. He was in a band that I played a lot of shows with when I was in All Cut Up at “The Parking Lot.”

In fact, he and I have such a long and strange story, it is hard to come up with one story about what to write.

I guess one of the more innocent things we did was that we used to go get soft drinks at a corner store between our houses, sit on parking stones, and discuss our views on society, music, and life. Yeah, that was fun! Let’s talk about that!

Oh, he was also my guitarist while I was in The Twin. I guess that was important. Especially because he, Steve and I created that band out of random jams we had for about five years prior to actually creating the band. It was interesting because we all came from very different influences, but had a mutual respect (mostly) for what everyone was into.

To keep on topic, the first time he came over after I got out of hospital was awkward and hilarious. He came walking into my parents living room about one week after I finally got out of hospital. In a thunderous voice, I said “Well looks who’s finally coming in here- showing off their two legs. Walking and shit.”

Though he laughed, I did not hear from him the next couple of days. I assumed that I offended him in some way- as if he did not know my horrible sense of humour. When I did get through finally, I found out that he had been horribly busy and the furthest thing from offended. In fact: he barely heard what I said. Jokes on me, I guess.

I digress. Pat is one of the few people who understands me on several levels, even though he is somewhat an enigma to me after all of these years.

I have rambled on about him and completely avoided talking about Becca. She is lovely, but I do not have any interesting or hilarious stories about her. Yet.

What I can say is that I have known her for a very long time and I hope that, someday, we will have some sort of interesting story to tell. Maybe something involving offending old people, or tackling people, or making really crude cripple jokes at my expense.

SIDE NOTE; He mentioned the story about dragons, so now I will launch into something completely fictional because I really want to.

It was cold. The trees were all still, as if they were anticipating something. Pat lay in wait for the serpent to fly overhead. It was the season that they were waking from a six month slumber.

“I trained for this…” He repeated this line over and over to himself, trying to psych himself for the task of defence that he has accepted. He knew that he would either survive the onslaught, or die in an anonymous blaze. Other than the other guard, no one knew that he was outside the city boarders.

He blew into his hands, praying that his breath would be enough to warm his hands. His sword was leaning up against the trunk of a tree, ready for a quick retrieval if one was needed. His armour was little more than leather, hastily strewn across his body. He hoped that it would be enough.

Suddenly, the wind picked up. He could hear a low groan pass over the land he was in. A sound similar to a drum being beaten could be heard in the background. It was coming.

Pat grabbed for his sword, checked over his body for weak points, and moved into what he thought was a fighting position. He was far from trained for this; he was far from ready. He had started to sweat though he was chilled to the bone.

The cries become louder and Pat starts to feel his heart racing. He tries to keep his breathing slow, but he can feel his body reject the very notion. He wants to panic. He needs to panic. He will not let it happen.

With a mighty crash, the dragon lands not two hundred feet from Pat. He readies his blade and lets out a mighty scream.

Pat starts to sprint.

DONATE TO MY PATREON AND REQUEST MORE IF YOU WANT MORE

PATREON SUPPORTER TALE :: Katie Maz

I am actually honoured to write this post.

Katie was invited by The Twin to come out to a show back in 2010. Now to date ourselves: the invite was sent over MySpace because everyone used it back then.

ANYWAY: Katie was this very hyper girl who showed up and her and I spoke only twenty minuets over the event. However, her and I exchanged e-mails that night, and we have never spent more than a month out of communication.

Our humour works in the most backwards ways. She is hyper but an introvert, I am quiet but an extrovert. I do not know why we are friends, but we are very tight friends. We refer to each other as siblings very often.

When I ended up in hospital, she came by as often as she could. She remained awkwardly inspirational and never talked down to any situation that I found myself in.

We started Mind the Music TO in 2015 with me writing album reviews and her showcasing her photography.

I love her.

PATREON SUPPORTER TALE :: Katrina (or “Kat”)

Kat is a good friend of mine with a strange story that I am both unsure how to tell, and excited to share with the world.

She is from Northern Ireland. She came with her family to stay a few days in Hamilton and stayed at my residence (which was a hotel at the time). I am a bit fuzzy on why we started talking, but regardless: her and I spent hours outside talking about things. Mostly, the pains of being in a wheelchair.

She was also afflicted with something that put her in a chair most of the time. We would spend hours outside in the hot summer sun discussing various topics. Her family and I did not see eye-to-eye on the notorious “Brexit” that was going on at the time, but we never had any bad blood between us.

Over the time we spent together, we spent hours delving into stories of our pasts and killing time laughing at the ridiculous things that happened around us.

Since her departure back to the across the pond, we have kept in contact via the internet. We vent and express issues that we have in our day-to-days and keep each other entertained with the various things we have been spending our time on. She keeps me sane, most of the time, and I hope that I do the same for her. She has sent my wife and I a few things over the last year, and was one of the first to congratulate us on our wedding.


I have been doing thinking about how to go about offering things on Patreon since I opened it back up. I like doing these retrospectives on those I know, but have been dreading the idea of doing the story about dragons for the last little bit, in the event they ever happen. I think I will do chapters. Each chapter will be of equal length, and they will each contain the same level of epic-ness. I refuse to start writing them ahead of time, so even I will be heavily entertained by them when they happen. I hope you like them when they finally happen.

 

PATREON SUPPORTER TALE :: Sarah

Sarah is the older sister of a friend of mine, though I met her first.

We played on a soft ball team together many years ago. I do not remember the time overly well, but her smiling face permeates my memories that I do have. We went to elementary school and high school together, but were from different friend groups and did not talk much.

AFTER HIGH SCHOOL she became a regular at my store. Well, the guy she was seeing at the time was a regular, and she just came in with him pretty close to every time.

Oh, how we would talk and joke whenever we crossed paths! Seeing her was a bright part of my week, and I made sure to talk to her as much as I could when she came through.

I really wish we had adventures, but we always saw each other during some engagement that we could not leave. I know we would be closer than we are, but I am just happy to have her in my life at all. She is one of the few people that just understands parts of my life that I cannot describe further.

“I’m doing poorly in school, ya know?”
“Yeah, it’s because of this thing.”
“HEY! YOU’RE RIGHT”

That sums up a good portion of our conversations.

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