Nocturnal Seizures

I have to state on the offset that my experience in this is nothing shy of that; my experience. I do not speak for the whole of the seizure “community”, or whatever people who experience seizures go by. I am not a medical expert, and I am simply expressing my experience in regards to the topics that I present in this.

I had a seizure in my sleep last night. I was sleeping, so there are no marks or injuries to share.

“In lieu of physical representation, how am I sure that I suffered an episode?” I hear no one asking. That is a fair question. Without seeing something, how could I be sure that I had a seizure?

When I have a seizure, which is a word that I have never used so many times in a row, my extremities feel heavy. It almost feels like I have a 10kg (~20lbs) weight attached to them. That is how I know that I had a seizure last night: I am sore. I feel like I lifted something way too heavy. My emotions are all messed up thanks to all the chemical fluctuations that I experienced.

With all of that, what can be done for negating seizures at night? From what I have read, which admittedly is probably not enough, there is nothing to do. A large part of the process is management. Someone recommended me CBD, which is not a horrible call. Unfortunately, I have tried CBD. I probably did the process wrong, if you can do that process wrong. From my reading, it does great for preventing chemical seizures, but mine are structural.

It debunks a plethora of myths around what to do if you see someone having a seizure. In my research, I have read that epilepsy is far more common than I initially thought. So, watch that, and don’t ruin someone’s day from your ignorance.

/hides soapbox under some stairs

Off to the races…!

I have a plan for seven books.

I have one written so far, so it is much less daunting than it sounds. It’s a kind of series that I have in mind. I say “a kind of series” because they aren’t related so much in content or word, but they do share a grounding.

No, I am not going to tell you what it is. I am still sure I can actually do what I have planned, but I know that I cannot without backing from a major publisher.

I would be hiding the fact that this is a bit of marketing on my end. I hope that a literary agent will find my body of work more appealing if I had a promise of more to come and an extended universe that I hope to build.

The main take-away you should get from this post is that I am working on something huge and I am VERY excited to share it with all of you.

Hopefully, I can do that soon.

Read me

Hi! I haven’t updated in forever, and I’m sorry for that! I think. I’m never sure if silence is prefered over waffling for lines and lines, so I just keep myself quiet when I don’t have something pertinent to share.

I’m kind of going against that point this time, however. Simply because a long block of silence is something I try to avoid.

I have been writing a tonne of fiction again. Nothing I feel is worth sharing, for the most part. I have been shopping around a new book, and I guess that is something I should speak about. I just get mildly weary about posting such things. I’m never sure if I should announce such things when there is little-to-nothing to announce on the topic.

On that note, is it normal to get excited over a rejection letter?

It wasn’t a condemnation on my writing, the person was just stating how it was not their forté, and so they didn’t think they could do it justice.

There is this awkward period between submitting a work for representation and response. I get it completely, but because I hit a button and send the email, I am stuck wondering if they have even looked at it. What was nice about the rejection I did get was that I received the “hells no” within the hour I sent it off. I do not pretend to think that’s normal; but it was nice, regardless. I didn’t have to hit refresh on my emails 1230239512305 times an hour for a response that may never come my way.

Oh: I have written a new book. I should have lead with that point. I didn’t share any of the text because of one of the few conversations I had with a professional mentioned that any publication aside from with a major publisher could be a negative on going forward. So, that’s a thing.

My buddy Johnny released his 5 recommendations for amater writers. I agree with his statements, and I have ideas on how I could expand them. Alas: that was his project. I will leave it alone with nothing more than a link to his Instagram. He publishes fantastic poems whenever he feels confident in the product, and I really like what he has released so far. Please, show him some love. Bonus points if you let him know that I sent you.

Naked ‘n’ Exposed

I have been spending a majority of my morning applying, again, to Literary Agents.

It is a very small niche in the greater “agent” circle. I have more connection with reps in the music industry which, most of my musician friends will point out, are impossible to get contact with. Yet, somehow, I have steady (if not friendly) contact with at least 6 or 7 A&R reps. but no Literary Agents.

Also, interesting to probably only me: most Literary Agents are much older. That is not a bad thing, but it does speak to how difficult that world is to survive in. I have lost the video to time, but I watched this “day-in-the-life”-eque video. Apparently, or in this case anyway, Literary Agents make roughly 10% signing bonus for every successful sales pitch they make to a publisher? I found that incredibly humbling, and it also explained better in one stat why there are not more agents out there. There is no bloody money in it, and one agent could be stuck reading for days to just decide that person is not worth pursuing.

I’m already jaded due to years in the music industry to the idea of middle-men. Positions that simply exist to funnel the masses away from the big-wigs to “save time”. I understand the allure, but this kind of structure leads to nepotism and gatekeeping in the worst way.

I am starting to see the appeal in Vanity labels. If I was not so horrible at marketing, I would stay independent.

The ironic thing is that this post is me admitting that I need help looking for a literary agent. I mostly want to talk, but I can bring great things to the table!*

*might be a collection of uncooked meat.

I don’t hate you

I shared a post on FB the other day talking about Coldplay in a negative light. The event got me thinking about how I really liked Parachutes, but I am not a fan of everything after. That lead me to thinking about Nickelback, Sum 41, and the other bands that kind of fell out of favour quickly and harshly.

Now, to be totally up front about this, I like Parachutes. I like Silver Side Up. I like Half-Hour of Power. To be totally honest, I kind of liked these bands and one point or another. They all fell victim to trend following.

Let me explain my reasoning with Coldplay and Nickelback as the prime examples.

Parachute was a fantastic album. Yes, certain parts of the music world got very sick of Yellow, but it was Radiohead if they continued with The Bends era. It was poppy, but quirky. It stayed close enough to mainstream to keep attention, but was deep enough if anyone wanted to look further into the album. Parts of it, like the track Trouble, were absolutely amazing and fresh. However, they got a taste of mainstream success with Yellow, and they refused to give it up. When Clocks took the basic formula, but made it anemic; the writing was on the wall. Soon, pretty much the next album, every song was a formula to manufacture singles. Those of us who had been keeping our ear to their releases with phobias of being let down, noticed immediately what happened.

Nickelback is the same, but very different. It was no secret that little thought was put behind their runaway hit How You Remind Me. The thing that hurt so much with this band was that the rest of Silver Side Up was not horrible, but very few people know anything off that album aside from the single.

To be clear: I am not saying that it is great by ANY stretch of imagination. The single was written in just over 10 minutes, and Chad Kroeger has been very candid about that fact. The album lacked any foresight, and a majority of the songs felt shallow. This was because POTENTIALLY they were. They were a band for six years before that song came out, so if they had ANY foresight, they jumped on the formula that they suspected would launch them into the stratusfield.

To continue this dunk/defense of Nickelback, CANCON (a law governing Canadian Content in the arts) both boosted and FUCKED there career. As a Canadian, it was the next thing to impossible to avoid Nickelback. This is also what hurt Sum 41 in the end, as their “acceptable” songs were played everywhere you turned. Combine that with the fact that both bands got huge around the last push of radio/music video did little to help. Since this was a time before streaming, cars and store constantly played songs by these bands because equal parts they had to and they were popular.

IN CONCLUSION: I feel sorry for these bands. I’m not a fan for other reasons, but I do feel sorry for them. It shows that the arts are a fickle mistress, and being popular and staying popular are two VERY different things.

Depressing Update 3.4

Yearly reminder that you will die.
To fight against this is ridiculous.
If you actually manage to thwart the grasp of death,
you will be, not only the oldest; most decrepit person on the planet,
you will also be alone in a sea of faces.
Everyone you love,
everyone you know,
will die.
Even if you unlock the “secret” to living forever.
The search for immortality is absurde.
People have ruined any enjoyment of the now seeking a forever solution.
Find someone to have a conversation about nothing with instead.
Temporary happiness is all we have.

To wish for anything else is foolish.

The most depressing thing about today is…

Something less dower coming soon! Keep posted!

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Oh: I started uploading an audio-only version of my PodCast! Everything gets updated within an hour of each other, so pick your poison!