Let’s Go Shopping

I found myself trying to figure out the perfect question to ask someone to measure the level of their compassion. Unable to find the imagination to come up with something original, I started dwelling on the old situation.

You go shopping at a 24 hour grocery store. Other than one or two people inside, the property is empty. At the end of your haul, you enter the vacant parking lot. After you put your score inside your car, you look down at the empty grocery cart. Do you put it in the correct place for the employee who will have to take care of it in the morning, or do you leave it in the parking space next to you?
REMINDER: No one sees you. You used the self checkout, and you did not speak to another employee while you were inside. Minus you, no one knows that you are even there.

Then, because my mind is broken, I extrapolated on that.

Mostly the same situation, but there is one other person in the lot. They leave their cart. Do you take that as permission to leave yours, put your cart in the proper spot, or put yours AND theirs away?

Final thing I thought of: the same situation as step two, but the port is about half full and a fair distance from where you are.

There were more situation I got ruminating on, but those were 3 of the 4 main ones. The only other question I will leave you with: would you tell anyone about what you chose?

I’ll leave you to decide if you need to leave a comment. I can promise that I will answer, but I will never say what I choose. I also would not judge you if you decide to leave a comment.

It’s okay

There seems to be an ephasis to feel fantastic all the time, so please allow me to state why that is not a great thing.

To clarify: you should not live in a constant state of depression. To assume that you are broken because you are having an off-day is wrong, though. You need peeks and valleys in your adventure through life.

The way I look at it is that you need a 1 out of 10 day to make the 7 actually matter. If every day is a 7, it becomes a new 1. If the worst thing that has happened to you is you forgot to stop the toaster on time, then the suprising death of a friend is going to hit harder than it should. All of a sudden, that bad day is going to become the worst thing ever.

Again, living every day at a 1 is not great. You should talk to someone (whether it be a friend or a family member) if you cannot seem to shake a funk. However, if you fluctuate your emotions on a regular basis, I am under the impression that you are healthy.

No, I don’t have sources. I am not a professional on this topic, and I make no illusions that I am. I do think that being sad for a day or two is healthy. Getting unreasonably angry from time to time is normal. No one should ever live in a state of bliss all of the time. There have been many dystopian novels that emphasise that idea. Look at Brave New World, in particular, to see how such an existance could effect civilization.

Actors

I haven’t done the research, mostly because I am unsure how to go about it. This is more observation than anything further.

I was watching Parks & Recreation the other day, and I noticed that one of the actors on that play a character in a wheelchair in Superstore. It came as a shock to me, because he portrays someone using a wheelchair so well in Superstore but he obviously does not use one in real life. That realization got me to do MINOR research, and I noticed that most people in chairs are played by able-bodied people.

I mean, I get it. Depending on the nature of why someone is in a wheelchair could cause insurance to get pulled from most shoots. I am also unsure now if any actors are native wheelchair users.

To be clear, the depictions I have seen have been respectful, for the most part. Probably for the same reason I am writing this as carefully as I can. Cheep-shots and bad representation can get you publically demolished, let alone that it is just mean. I would like to think that most writers know that, or at least have not even thought of being horrible because they aren’t horrible people.

In the event that my observations are correct — that there aren’t many/any people in wheelchairs acting, I am curious if that could change. I have come across a couple deaf actors, and at least one or two blind. Does anyone have any leads or names I could look up?

I should probably place a link to my Patreon here. I have been asked a couple of times this week if I have one. I do, and it helps me pay the amounts I need to keep this site running PLUS helps me eat. If you feel like donating, I would very much appreciate it!

Personal Goal

Yay! My favourite topic to write about: social interation!

As of writing this, I am at 286 followers on WordPress and four through e-mail. Those numbers make me so happy because it means there are 290 people (or, at least, entities) who think that I am interesting enough to follow!

I want to hit 300 by the end of the year.

Why? My ego. Nothing else.

I probably SHOULD be pushing my Twitter since I have over 2X the followers on here. I should also probably push my Patreon so I can afford rent and whatnot. However, there is something about knowing that I might have people interested about this that makes me so happy. I think because this is a form of expression, where Twitter is simply snapshots of thoughts that I am having at the time.

Oh: I am also at 28 followers on my YouTube, but I have only been doing regular-ish updates for a year, so I am not going to fight that one.

Do me a favour: share a link to this blog if you have friends who might be interested in what I write about. Make my small dream of 300 followers this year come true!

i don’t want to human today

Oh, whoah as me. I am having a day already, and it’s not even noon here!

I should elaborate. Nothing has happened, and discussion that I have had so far, but my brain is not my friend right now. No reason in particular; that I can fathom, anyway. I think a big part of it is being overwhelmed by many little things.

The “biggest” thing I have on my plate right now is my new publisher is requesting a list of possible venues for a book tour. They haven’t given me a timeframe that they would like this for, but I have ideas for a multimedia thing. If they are interested in that idea, and once they give me a date to start, I can have the entire thing penciled out in a week. I have at least one artist interested in joining me, once I have more information. At the very least, it will pull some people out. I don’t think I am a big enough draw, myself, to go about this adventure solo.

Unfortunately, time will tell. It’s Saturday, so my enquiries will not be answered until Monday, at the earliest. I know this, and I need to calm down. I don’t even have more worries in regards to that to voice. The possibilities of it are racing through my mind at a lightning pace, and it will probably not even be this year.

There are other things weighing on me, like finishing the rough of the book I am currently working on. I have hit the 20000-word wall that I have hit at least three times before. I know that I can get past that point, but motivation is quickly drifting from my mind. I get so fixated on not wanting to write filler that I keep scrapping new ideas that are probably NOT shit, but I have convinced myself that they serve no purpose than just to pad soemthing. I want to keep my writing engaging. I want the reader to be entertained all the way through. I have read too many books where “chapter three” is just full of words and details for pointless things. Maybe I am just being overly harsh, and I need to just push through my insecurities and write.

It doesn’t help that I feel as though I have been neglecting this site as of late. I have been putting a lot more into my vlog lately. Simply because I feel like I can leave that as is, and only come back to a topic if someone voices an issue directly. No need to justify opinions for something like that because I know issues that could arrise are more valid. I can see what percent of people watch the full video versus this blog where the chance that someone cherry-picks issues without reading further to see if I answer is greater.

I hate the arts/I love the arts.

Also: I’m broke. Please consider supporting me on Patreon.

Give what you want…?

I read this post on FaceBook today expressing how people who are missing something attainable from their life will give it to others. I cannot get it out of my head and just how depressing the very concept is.

To kind of explain, in a simple way: if you crave being focused on, you will focus on others if no one will focus on you. If you crave being loved, you will love others.

Is that to say that this is a one-to-one thing? Far from. I see it more as an idea than a truth, but it is interesting to think about, regardless. The idea that we, as a species, will fill in perceived gaps in our lives to try to make sure that no one else feels that way.

It also brings up a scary idea: what if the people dishing out “good-feels” get taken advantage by others who also desire that?

Now, a less scary idea that uses the other as a launching pad: what if you make someone stronger because you feel like there is a lack of “X” in the world?

It really does hinge on your perception of the idea of exploitation. If someone else desires what you desire, and you are the only person you see giving that kind of emotion, is it wrong for people to gravitate to you?

I am avoiding going into the topic of hedonism. I don’t know enough about the idea, or the values that are attached to it, but I had to at least mention it so you can see if there is any correlation, if you wish.

Apparently radical?

I was in discussion with someone over the worker shortage being seen in the USA right now. They were saying that no one wants to work because they are collecting CERB and being lazy, and I was actively offended.

Let me be clear: CERB is meant as emergency funds to work with a household income to supplement the financial damage caused by the Pandemic. IF it is actually better to live off that funding than work a job making “minimum wage”, is it not an issue being created by the place of employment?

It’s easier for me to find the Canadian numbers, and I almost promise that our are higher than the American.

In Canada, you get $500 a week. That is barely enough to live on, let alone do anything on. If that is actually better than what you make working 40 hours a week, there is a glaring issue. I’m on disability, and I make half that. Don’t get me started on why that is deplorable, because I will start calling everyone Comrad and my new favourite colour will be red.

So, do I think people should be living off CERB or the equivalent? No, but I also see there being no shame if it is more than you make anyway. I see the shame being with the billion-dollar industries giving people less than a living wage to break their backs making money for a shadow they will never see.

Somehow, this opinion is radical. Please, tell me how I am being radical?

Assumptions

This post might seem like I’m just bitching…

The issue I have been noticing with being disabled is that people expect you to have some sort of grand insight into what social issues there are with being disabled. I have noticed myself being hindered by the idea where not everything I write or vlog about is in relation to me being in a wheelchair, so this post is to people who are in that camp.

The irony of feeling I should be discussing disability issues is the deafness and tragic comedy of the situation.

Okay, that sounds incredibly selfish, so please allow me to put it another way.

I spent 24 years of my life not disabled. I got the meningitis vaccine in high school, and got meningitis anyway. It induced encephalitis, and now I am in a wheelchair and suffer from epilepsy. So, when I start to complain about how “hard life is”, I feel disingenuous. I feel like I am just complaining because my life has hit a road block, and I am worried that my “plight” will take attention away from more important issues. I also feel as though I am far from qualified enough to talk on the social and economic issues at hand.

When someone says that they will not follow or promote my work because it’s not focused enough on disability issues, this is why I find my respect for that person start to drop.

I have lived a great portion of my life under the assumption that I should not let my shortfalls hold me back, and now that I am in a place where my shortfalls have a greater impact, I still hold that advise to a higher regard. Possibly, a higher regard than I should.

My point simply being: if I have a “hot-take” on some social or political issue, I will probably write about it. If I don’t, it either doesn’t impact me or I don’t want to give wrong information. If I am NOT focused enough on things you feel I should be, don’t read my blog. That simple.

You’re Special.

So, it has been far too long since my last update.

I have been ruminating on what I want to write about, new podcasts to record, and dealing with this Hellscape I call life.

Hellscape is probably a bit extreme.

I am just trying to illustrate that I am in another point of flux. So many fantastic things on the horizon, and so many horrible and abusive things until then.

Did you watch my last PodCast? It was to you, so I hope you did. I also spend a very long time scripting it out, considering how short it was.

I have an idea for my next one. My plan is to have it recorded, cut, and published by the eleventh. That would mark one year of me doing that whole thing.

My plan was to examine how society is ableist, but the reading and research is far too much for me to get it done before I want to have the recording done. Instead, I think I will do an opinion piece on similar things, but illustrating how single-serving stores and businesses are in regards to accessibility. That way, the reading is minimal, because I am actually an idiot with too much time on their hands.

Oh, please subscribe to the page if you find this at all interesting. I have heard from a Patreon individual that I don’t give enough updates on there, and they fail to see the point of being subscribed. The Patreon is just a way for me to supplement the costs in relation to keeping this site up-and-running. I know I don’t push it, pretty well at all. I know I don’t pay enough attention over there, and that is something I am hoping to rectify soon. I am completely going by the seat of my pants on all this writing and online marketing BS. I am sorry.