Writer’s Block is Weird

I find myself at a bit of a stop in my next book. I am proud of what I have so far. It comes out just over 20 pages. Strangely, I am able to think of a blog post to write, but not a continuation on my writing.

Why does the brain do this? Yes, blogs are a little more auto-biographical usually. That, or they are explaining from a very biased (in my case) source. My stories are usually birthed from reality. They are all situations that I have either lived through, or exaggerations on events. No, I have never been part of a terrorist organization, nor have I taken a bullet for my cause. I have been publicly ridiculed and emasculated for my beliefs. No, the comparison is not one for one. It could be argued that being publically hung to dry is worse than being killed. At least, when you’re killed, you don’t have to keep surviving in the hellscape that comes after.

On that note, at least if you don’t die, you can patch and fix your image. It may take a long time, but it’s doable.

On a very unrelated note: I got a new chair! I’m not using it! Thanks!

Okay, details: I have been using the same chair for 6 years at this point. I have learned many things about what I want from a wheelchair since I put together my initial order, and grew out of certain things that were put in place all that time ago.

Unfortunately, the chair I received until they have constructed mine has a misplaced centre of gravity. Small imperfections in my movement would result in me suddenly tipping backwards. Luckily, wheelchairs have anti-tip bars in the back. They saved my life on multiple occasions, but I hate having to rely on them. Due to this, I moved back to my old chair with a new seat cushion: at least for now. I hope that all is sorted before August.

The quotes

If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you will notice that I have started releasing out-of-context quotes from You’re Not Dead.

It’s very interesting. I haven’t read the book since I finished editing it, and this is a great way to A) renew interest for other people and B) Revisit my work without feeling like I am under any real pressure.

Below is what I have released so far, but please let me know if you have a better line in mind for me to put to the masses:

  • For that hour, the Hero felt like he was drowning above water.
  • What is even the point in self-improvement if I am not to enjoy whatever I achieve?
  • Maybe it was for the best that he was alone.
  • Luka hugged him./He tried as hard as he could to hug back./He tried to call her a fool for thinking he was gone/He tried many things.
  • In a hospital near you, a heart monitor squeals./In a town far away, a girls heart breaks

The Future of ANEWSIN

As I think I have hinted, if not fully admitted, there will not be an anewsin for a while. I am busy working on my next book, and I am trying to flush out new ideas instead of getting fixated on new short stories. Therefore, if you do support me on Patreon for new updates early, I would not be offended if you pull your subscription for the time being.

WITH ALL OF THAT SAID!

If you do decide to support me, even just one dollar a month, you will get your name in the thank you section of my upcoming release!

I scrapped a bunch, about ten pages, but I am still trucking along. It looks like the book will be a series of shorts again. As of right now, I have no plan to do a through-narrative like I did with You’re Not Dead. I mean, that is just how it is going right now. I might, and probably will, change my mind in the future.

I have only about two hours of work present in the project right now. That equates to seven pages, or just over 3000 words. I am trying my hardest not to put a goal because I feel like it stifles what I can create. I might try to reach goals closer to finishing if I have, for instance, 99 pages or something like that.

I just made this post to update you all on what I am doing right now.
REMEMBER: donating just a dollar a month to Patreon gets your name published!
Oh: and remember that I love you.

New Book

As some people have heard, I am working on a new book! I started only recently, so timeline is a bit ragged at the moment. I have an idea of where I want to go, as well as at least two characters flushed out.

SURPRISE! It will not be a happy read. For the people who have read, what I dubbed a, WIP: I have scrapped about half of it in favour of continuing this new direction that I pieced together in my head.

The one of two things I am keeping from my initial 20-or-so pages is the theme of survivors guilt. I have a character that is dealing with the death of her children by blaming herself for their death on a legal level. I am not spoiling much, as even I don’t quite know where her story will end up.

My goal is to have the book be about 200 pages long. I am not going to put more restraints on myself, for fear of not measuring up to my own goals.

Do you want to be in the Thank You list? Check out my Patreon. Anyone who donates even $1 a month will get their name immortalized at the end of the book!

Check out my already released book here! If you do not feel like giving monthly, buying a copy of You’re Not Dead helps out a tonne.

Finally

It was explained to me today just how Amazon dot com was going to play!

You have to physically select them from a list of sellers to get a copy of You’re Not Dead. From the list that I can see at the time of writing this, they are the cheapest seller of both Hard and Soft covers. It should be the right one, but comment below if this isn’t the case and I (personally) will go through steps to have that rectified!

Anyway, I will put the links to both versions below. Please, let me know if there are any additional issues.

softcover || hardcover

Favourite Year

I find myself doing this weird deep-dive across my life where I try to pin-point my favourite year. I don’t have a reason, and rarely does it have any bearing.

I hate that I resort to when I started working at a media store. It feels like a co-out, like the only reason I pick that year is because that was the first full year that I got more exposure than ever to everything. Then, I remember how, for the first year anyway, I just filled back catalogue in both music and movies. I mean, yes: all the new music I got into was released that year.

NAME THE FUCKING YEAR JAY

K. Fine. It’s the year 2007. So many great albums came out that year. It was the last year of All Cut Up and we recorded probably the most fun EP of our three year run. The Twin started to form late that year. Livestalk & the Bodies was put into motion right at the end of the year. Battles and Dear & the Headlights recorded and released 2 of my favourite albums of all time. Not to mention the plethora of mind-bending games that came out that year like BioShock, Portal and Mass Effect: 3 series that started that year and I remained a fan for a long time.

In the movie realm, all I have to mention is Juno and point out how amazing that soundtrack was. I could go further, but that one film sums up a large part of that year for me.

Interpersonally, I flourished that year. I don’t have many interesting stories, but needless to say that I was rarely home. The shows had all but dried up that year, so it was low on the totem of personal achievements. Maybe I should take that as a note: years that I don’t achieve anything matter more? That might be complete bullshit. There is a co-relation between years where I find happiness and being comfortable artistically. From 2005 to now-ish I have done something artistically placating every year. Hell, even this year I renewed my book for a second edition that is double in length and has half as many grammatical errors.

Do you have a favourite year? Want to gloat about some achievement that you have hit and never felt like you had the praise you deserved for it? Let’s talk about it either in the comments, or hit me up on FaceBook! There is a page, if you don’t feel like seeking me out personally!

Lack of Inspiration

I haven’t written in days. I finally figured out how to save my latest work-in-progress and I just haven’t had a spark to write. Yes; I do see the irony in writing how I have no clue what to write but I feel like I need to do something.

That comes off wrong: I want to write something, and I have this blog figured out. Yet, when it comes to my next book, I have a tonne of ideas but no clue how to work them into a coherent plot. I am hoping that me writing this will allow me to look at what I have so far in a different light.

What am I writing?
It’s an investigative reporter for a paper talking to a man who thinks that he might be immortal. He thinks this because he has survived several no-way situations that he recounts. I have an ending figured out, I have written about 4000 words, not including the ending. I am just stuck on figuring out how to progress from where I am.

To be completely honest, it would make a great short story in the form it’s in right now. I actually started writing it as an ansP, but it snowballed and now I am determined to write it out fully. The best part about it is that I can be the investigative reporter and point out holes that I can see in my own story through the eyes of a person trying to get his article out of this man. I haven’t jumped into that idea yet, but I have already noticed at least one point that I can ride.

I know that I have championed the idea of writing everything that comes to mind down on something, and I do that (thus this post). One thing I have not written about, because I have never actually experienced it, is writers block.

To be totally honest, I am not sure if what I am currently experiencing constitues writers block. I have ideas for where I want the story to go, I am just not sure on how to make it go there.

With that said, I am only 4000 words deep. I could scrap it, but I don’t want to. I have given myself a year to complete this work, and I am going to give myself at least that long to try. I am going to go ahead and write something new if a new idea comes to mind.

I actually started flushing out Martha. not too long ago. I had an idea on how to flush out that world, and I like some backstory ideas that I had for that. The main issue that I found is that I know how I would want it to work out as a show, but a book I was having a hard time keeping it interesting without leaning on exposition and inane description.

“alive and kicking it in hamilton”

Today marks the 6 year anniversary of me posting my survival to the world. I spent about an hour trying to compose exactly how I wanted this to be presented. Though the end result seems silly and juvenile, it was calculated.

It was both disarming and abrasive. I wanted people to see that I was here, but I wanted it to be as underwhelming as it could be. Simply for the fact that I didn’t see it as a big deal. I could never know the waves that it would have created.

271 likes and 95 comments. That doesn’t even include the reactions from the 7 shares that I received. That was all from my personal FaceBook, as well. I, for lack of a better definition, was a nobody. I had friends and family, sure. That doesn’t change the surprise I felt from the outpouring of notices that I received. It would still be another year before I wrote and released my blog explaining, somewhat, what happened. This would still be four years from the release of my book going further into detail about a more in depth explanation of all the events.

Do I regret not having everything in place for the inevitable reintroduction to the world? Of course. That’s why I am classifying my book as a “mostly fiction” from now on, and have been since I was told how my timeline was warped by my parents.

To be fair: they did give me a detailed outline. They had taken extensive note for the first five months of me being in hospital. They claim they were doing it for me, but I knew it was a kind of coping mechanism at the time. If it had really been for me, it would have continued until further in my recovery. More description would have been put into names, staff, places and specialists. Regardless, they did finally give it to me to read after the book had been out for two years, and I may have had flash-backs while my eyes crept between marks of graphite and ink.

Personal side-note: I wish I just put “kicking in hamilton” as opposed to “kicking IT in hamilton”. HINDSIGHT!

The Good Place

My wife and I have been making our way through The Good Place for the second-ish time. I say “ish” because we saw the first season about five times before the second and third came to Netflix. We love this show for many reasons, but I know that I am drawn to it through its mockery of moral philosophy and the people who wrote papers on the subject.

I am in no way a philosophy learned person. I am, however, drawn to the quandaries they present. Especially when faced head on with questions that may come up in the common day to day. The Good Place does that bit perfectly. It is the opposite of preachy, and just poignant enough to be deep.

It got me wondering where I would wind up. Without spoiling the show, the good place and bad place are what they sound like: places for your “soul” to end up after you leave this mortal coil. Looking back at my life, I can say with great confidence that I have no clue where I would end up.

It raises the question that because I am even asking the question of how things would end up, is that actually a negative trait or a positive one? Is it selfish to dilute actions without taking into consideration intentions and mitigating factors?

The very concept that we have papers and books and essays written on the topics of moral decisions, would they even matter in the grander scheme?

Then, I got wondering if “The Good Place” is really just something we do to ourselves? If our actions and self-punishment is potentially worse than any scripture or text could ever predict?

It’s very possible, in my mind, that we create our own heaven and hell. The way that we perceive our actions today dictates how pleasant our today is. To assume that we are going to be tormented for all time for something I do today is a bit, well, silly. There is a good chance that our own self aware mind is punishment enough.

I have toucher’d and tormented myself for things I have done over the last 30 years. Some of them, I should really get over and accept that either it was situational or an accident. Some things I am so ashamed that I have ever considered. Some things only I see as horrible because I know the motivation behind it.

Maybe, we’re all Good.
Maybe, none of it matters in the long run.

That brings me to a mild and brief explanation of my view: nothing matters. What matters is making now great. Now, does that mean live in extravagance? Look at it this way: is what you’re doing now hurting you later? That’s more what I think about when I say “nothing matters”. Now is all that you can admit to ever experiencing, so why not make now better?

On this topic, amazon.ca and amazon.co.uk have fully updated my book release to the newest version. amazon.com is giving me a world of grief, but I have been informed there is NOTHING I can do. As soon as I see this rectified, I will make sure to post something about it.

In the meantime, the Friessen Press bookstore continues to be the more reliable way if you want to pick up your copy. Unfortunately, I have no information on how their digital copies hold up, but hardcover and softcover? Unmatched, somehow. They do printing in the states, the UK, and Canada, and they do individual orders. And, for full transparency, they are the best for me. Just saying.