Seizures & Why I Get Them

What happens when I get a seizure? Can I always identify when it will happen and what happens?

Yes and no. There are a few things that happens physically that I notice, but I have become aware to them instead of them intruding heavily in my life.

I get sleepy. That sounds stupid (I am well aware) but it happens randomly and suddenly. I am still a step or two away from finding out why it happens, but I suspect  hypoglycaemia or something in that same vein. The reason I do think that is it only happens when I have not eaten properly for a few hours.

Everything on that point sounds really silly to me when I type it out, but I can assure you: it is a hassle. Think of how often you go an extra hour not eating because you have to finish something or you have company. I pass out.

What am I doing to mitigate the issue? I drink a pop/soda when I start to feel a bit strange. That is usually enough to hold me over until meal time. Otherwise, I am just eating as much as I can, and exercising.

I have only hurt myself once when I fall over. The other night, I must have gone face first into a desk. I came to with a black eye and a bruise/scrape combination on my arm. Otherwise, there has been no effect outside of loosing some time and being horribly disorientated when I wake up.

I have done a little bit of research into what causes seizures. The case that relates most to me is massive cranial trauma. Since the encephalitis was literally my brain crushing itself against my skull, I am going to assume that is the link to why I have seizures. I feel I am allowed to make assumptions because the specialist I saw actually said ‘yeah… we don’t know why you pass out’ (please note that is paraphrased, not a direct quote).

Anywho, I just thought I would fill everyone in with what I know.

SIDE NOTE: I have my next book mostly done. If you would like to read the rough draft, let me know either in the comments below or on my FaceBook.

Giving up.

I had a discussion with a gentleman about the idea of “giving up” tonight. I got thinking about myself and what I have gone through both physically and mentally over the last couple of years and I have come to a conclusion which should be no surprise to anyone.

Why give up?

The very idea implies that you feel as though you cannot make it through what you are in and life is just too overbearing to get through.
The very idea implies that you feel you cannot achieve a goal you have set for yourself.

Please correct me if my definition is wrong.

I hope no one is actually fearing for me in regards to giving up. As I said to my friend: I am way too arrogant to give up.

Like I have stated before: I am medically sound. I have yet to be told that I am in this position permanently with any sort of assurance other than “I’m a doctor and know everything. What’s your name again?”

I was expected to die. Lived.
I was not supposed to digest or eat on my own. Do.
I was not supposed to breathe on my own. Do.
I am supposed to suffer major cognitive issues and am never supposed to be able to generate thoughts for myself. I have kept this blog open between two different sites for almost a year at this point.
I was never supposed to be able to even stand with a walker. I can walk close to a Kilometer with one.

Am I going to just roll over and accept what I have?

No. It could be viewed as the easier option, but I would just be so disappointed in myself. I have come this far. I have done so much. I am in school and got a fucking scholarship to be here.

I have been reminded of some things people have posted over the last two weeks. It is always humbling to know that I have touched people and I hope to continue to be important in the lives of who I am close to.

This is far from the update I was planning on doing. I am having difficulty getting recourses together, so I may take the rest of the year to make sure I get everything I need together.

Have a great Holiday, a fantastic New Year, and a great last few weeks of this month.