Public Speaking

Hey! So, I’ve been invited to a thing. Join me and a few other Canadian authors as we talk music, inspiration, and (I assume*) writing!

*we will be talking writing, but I am more excited by talking music!

The event happens tomorrow (Apr 29th) at 1930 EDT!

Oh! A reminder to follow me on Twitter! I don’t use it often, but I feel like I have some important takes that may or may not be relevant to people’s day-to-day! (not only music quotes, I promise!!)

Overwhelmed

Hi!

I’ve been horrible. I haven’t done an update worth anyone’s time on any public forum. Not that I haven’t tried, but simply because everything I have done, as of late, has turned out poorly.

This is the fourth or fifth time trying to write this blog, and I have written several about other topics that I have scrapped. I have recorded a new vlog/podcast a few times, and get so frustrated in the editing phase that I scrap them completely. Even Facebook and Twitter posts are deleted before they are posted, for no reason outside of vanity.

I think part of the issue, but not the whole issue, is that I am in flux again. I am sitting on my hands waiting for my novella to go to print. I have three books on the go, only one is at any point of finality, and it’s still not long or good enough.

I wonder if I am being too hard on myself, or if I just need a month where I actually get some time off. I can hear it now: YoU aRe UnEmPlOyEd!

To fight that point, I am working on three books, pencilling out a new vlog/podcast, and I am trying to keep coming up with new blog posts. So, yes, a month off of everything would be nice.

None of this includes the stress of the day-to-day, which is more annoying than anything. I have some reasons to think that I am only a month off of better and more stable things. I won’t get into all of that yet.

The end point is that I need some support. Emotionally would be great, but I would also like to hit 300 followers. Consider donating to my Patreon so I can keep progressing this site, and maybe look into something else cool. The next book I am for sure releasing is almost written: I am doing my reading of it to look for structure issues. If you would like to be included in the substance editing, let me know somehow.

I haven’t recorded it in a while, so I’ll say it here.

I love you.

The Fog

I want to preface this piece off by mentioning that this is all self-observation. There are a tonne of people a lot smarter than me who have written about the topic of brain fog, so all I can offer to the world is my personal experience with it. Therefore, this should not be taken as a scientific dive into that world. I know I don’t need to say that I am some kind of professional, but I am stating it in the off-chance that someone takes my words as more than a morbid kind of entertainment.

I shouldn’t be writing this. I shouldn’t be doing much outside of watching something — maybe sometime with cats or puppies being stupid. My ability to rationalize is very hampered right now.

I feel drunk, without the physical side-effects. I feel sleepy, but I tried to nap and got nowhere with that. I feel distracted, but hyper focused on the wrong things.

I call it brain-fog because I read that term somewhere and, regardless if it’s a one-for-one description, it is very apt at describing what I am currently feeling. Ironically, I only seem to see it mentioned when I’m in this state and, thus, cannot comprehend what I’m reading.

ISN’T IS GREAT THAT I AM TRYING TO WRITE SOMETHING IN THIS STATE OF MIND?

No amount of caffeine can fix it. As mentioned, I tried to sleep and got no where with the endeavour. I just ate not long ago, and I had a drink of water to see if that would clear things up. Thankfully, when I have experienced this in the past, it only lasts a day or two. I think. I hope. What if this is a permanent state, and sometimes I just notice it more than others?

I hope you enjoyed my last update on my YouTube channel. I know I come off as very rambly, but everything I say is mildly scripted. At least, to a point where I have an idea of how long the final product will be. That’s why I released the last one as a “short”. Now that I have opened up that option for myself, I will probably record a couple more. I will not be releasing them right away as a PodCast, instead opting to smash them together after five or so. That way, if you do follow the audio-only format, you won’t be inundated with short episodes.

Oh, update on the new book: currently sitting at just shy of 22,000 words. It’s half going well. I wanted to be a lot further, but it’s only the first draft that I wanted to be complete by the end of the year. I hope that I can write another 3000 words without succumbing to unnecessary bloat. Then, I will spend far too long making it prettier and longer!

You’re Special.

So, it has been far too long since my last update.

I have been ruminating on what I want to write about, new podcasts to record, and dealing with this Hellscape I call life.

Hellscape is probably a bit extreme.

I am just trying to illustrate that I am in another point of flux. So many fantastic things on the horizon, and so many horrible and abusive things until then.

Did you watch my last PodCast? It was to you, so I hope you did. I also spend a very long time scripting it out, considering how short it was.

I have an idea for my next one. My plan is to have it recorded, cut, and published by the eleventh. That would mark one year of me doing that whole thing.

My plan was to examine how society is ableist, but the reading and research is far too much for me to get it done before I want to have the recording done. Instead, I think I will do an opinion piece on similar things, but illustrating how single-serving stores and businesses are in regards to accessibility. That way, the reading is minimal, because I am actually an idiot with too much time on their hands.

Oh, please subscribe to the page if you find this at all interesting. I have heard from a Patreon individual that I don’t give enough updates on there, and they fail to see the point of being subscribed. The Patreon is just a way for me to supplement the costs in relation to keeping this site up-and-running. I know I don’t push it, pretty well at all. I know I don’t pay enough attention over there, and that is something I am hoping to rectify soon. I am completely going by the seat of my pants on all this writing and online marketing BS. I am sorry.