I suck at silence

Random update on things: I have submitted a new manuscript to my publisher. I won’t know their opinion until the end of November, so you get to know nothing new or exciting about it either.

October has always felt like a busy month for most of my life. When I was in school, it was that month when everything finally came together. When I was working full-time, it was reluctantly gearing up for Christmas. In bands, it was counting things done the year prior for whatever paperwork had to be done. Just before I died, it was a trip to Iceland.

Between the book being submitted, finally, and things finally calming down at the homefront after a tumultuous year, I have this burning itch that something is going to go wrong. I have this burning feeling in the pit of my stomach that I am going to offend someone, or say something stupid, or a plethora of things.

Please allow this to be a blanket apology: if I fuck something up, I probably did not mean whatever I said or did the way it came out. I am just losing my shit, and I am not sure why.

My initial plan was to record this all in a vlog on my channel. Then, I noticed that was last two updates were around 10 days apart. I am not opposed to that, but I do wish to refrain from setting some sort of president that implies that I will update on a regular schedule. I really do recommend subscribing mostly BECAUSE my schedule is so haphazard. I like to pretend it keeps things fresh and exciting! You will NEVER know when I have a new video to harass your everything with!

I’m probably just reading too far into everything again. I’m sorry.

I need to stop…

…saying that I *WILL* achieve something by an end to the year.

I have been writing a new book since May. It’s going well, and (though very different for me) I like it a lot. I promised a few posts ago (I’m not going to link it because I don’t care) that I will have draft one finished this year. Though I have made great strides, I am nowhere near a completion. I have written about 40,000 words so far, but I think I have only 1/3 of what I want to have for the finished product. 

Oh! Fun little distraction! I came across a couple of older works that are 90% complete as a collection of short stories! So, I think I’m going to fall into that world. The contract I signed with Olympia when I got picked up by them dictates that I have to give them my second work to appraisal. I think I want to keep the one I am working on, make it perfect, and have the freedom to go somewhere else. The last thing I want to do is to get something that is amazing locked into a place where I think it is being stifled.