ask for help

It sounds stupid, but asking for help is fantastic. I have been stuck with an ill-fitting chair and next-to no money for years, and one phone call to the local LHIN fixed everything. Either they are working with me hands on to make sure a goal or three can be met, or they have talked to me on the phone to try to give me some direction.

Now I have a new chair on order, which is fantastic and much needed. I have a Physiotherapist coming (as I write this) to give me exercises in order for me to hit milestones in regards to walking and being in good health.

The most interesting, and helpful, has been the Social Worker. I have never met her, and I probably never will, but she is helping me in ways that I was unaware there were answers to questions that I had.

For example, she has gotten me in touch with the correct branch of ODSP, which sounds minor but I was stuck. She is looking over her papers to try to get me into some sort of group as an advocate, which is my goal. She has been helping me look into government housing.
ALL WITHOUT MEETING HER.
She doesn’t know me from Adam, and she is willing to put in all of this work: I cannot fathom just how fantastic she must be in person.

In conversations with this woman, I was informed that there is no support group for people in wheelchairs without having some degenerative disease or truly tragic (but “common”) issue. I posed to my FaceBook an idea of people in wheelchairs meeting up once a month, and immediately it was taken as I was lonely and needed to talk to someone. It was dismissed straight out.

I do take on fault: I worded the idea poorly. I should have made it more clear that I was shocked at the lack of community surrounding people in wheelchairs. I was not stating that I wanted friends (though, who doesn’t, right?!).

It was just an idea. I don’t want to be co-ordinator, or even have magnanimus control of a group like that. I just want to put into motion the idea. Maybe I’m selfish, but I don’t like the idea of something like that not even pretending to exist. I want the option to not show up to something like that.

Be Socially Awkward

Hi! Hello.

FUCKING HI!

Yeah. Big surprise! I like being socially awkward. Why? Because it keeps things interesting! I enjoy seeing how other people will react to me saying an off-colour joke or being too loud in a library.

From what I can see, there are four kinds of people:..
well, more than four kinds. But, this is observation, and I am too lazy to dive into every GD personality type!

There are people who shy away from your actions. The people who either cover everything up OR they try to silence you. They are the ones who take a few moments to figure out how to best do something the first time. They are (overly) conscious of everything they say, and actively get offended on other peoples behalf for ever thing said.

Then, there are the people (like me) who don’t care what they say. There is never malice behind what they say, but they do take some form of sick satisfaction from watching the other group cringe. Usually, they say the wrong things on purpose to prove the point that the true basis for the hatred of topics or terms is just as offensive as saying them.

Then, there are the bigots. Those who say stupid shit because they are trying to be funny. Also in this classification are those who say things to hurt other people. I have little respect for them (yes, I do see the irony) and I have a hard time understanding how people like this can still exist.

The fourth category is the most unfortunate. Those who say something with no intent to offend anyone, but they say egregious things that get them into trouble. Listening to someone from this category is an exercise in schadenfreude.

Being socially awkward is more than just being offensive, and that’s where people seem to fall a bit off the mark. Being socially awkward, to me, is bending expectations and unspoken laws of normality. Pointing out flaws in your person to a group of people who don’t know you? That can create the most fantastic miasma of groans that can never be expressed in text.

The hardest part, for me, is letting people who don’t know me well that I am joking around. There is nothing worse than pointing out that I’m in a wheelchair to have it followed by dismissive comments about how other’s have it worse or things of-the-like. Even worse than that is when someone piggy-backs off my statement and follows it up with something actually offensive. Just because the cripple said something detrimental to some cause does not give an able a pass on stupid.