Update Time!!!

I usually write blog posts by Monday and have short stories lined up for at least a month. For the first time in a long time, I find myself with a totally empty cue. That is not because I am lazy, but because I find myself with too much in my mind to make a coherent post.

I have written and rewritten this post several times. I refuse to leave you hanging for another week while I sort out my personal life and try to find even a stand of something interesting. Therefore, I am writing this! Is that not super exciting? I know you are having a hard time containing your sounds of enthusiasm and glee.

Know what? I’m just going to put the developments that have come, in rapid succession, over the last week.

  1. I found a new way to step! To make it more exciting: I KNOW THAT IT IS THE RIGHT WAY! I have been walking with my knees locked for the last year. I knew it was wrong, but I could make it KIND OF work for the few steps that I needed to complete when using the washroom or going to bed. DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE IS A BEND IN YOUR KNEE WHEN YOU STAND?!?!?!? I did not. It seemed counter-intuitive to me. Why, when you are trying to stand, would you bend your knee? What is this magic?! Then, my wife mocked me for stepping like a pirate who has seen better days and explained the mechanics of the leg further than anyone has explained them in the past. Please keep in mind: she was a parapoligic for about a year and re=learned how to walk herself, so she is allowed to make fun of me. Well, let’s be frank, anyone can make fun of me so long as I know that it is in jest. I digress, I can now take a couple of more steps. Still no where near not needing the chair for open spaces, but things feel a little more comfortable AND I feel less silly. Oh, and my knees no longer feel like they are going to explode out of my flesh. So, I guess that’s a good thing.
  2. AMAZON REJECTED ME! By that, I mean the thing I was trying out. If I want to be paid by Amazon for advertising for them, I have to collect sales in my first “X” days. A fair number of them. In a reality that surprises NO ONE: I didn’t even get clicks for the links that I had made available to the public. I do understand Amazon’s wish the govern this, seeing as they already have thousands of people advertising for them. This increases the importance of devices like Patreon to make sure that I can keep doing this. I love writing, and I am always trying to find new avenues to do it. So far, the short stories are going well, and people seem to enjoy them. At least, they do to my “face.” WHAT A GREAT SEGUE INTO POINT THREE! segue is a stupid word.
  3. Story three is taking a lot longer than I wanted it to. I wanted to write something completely original. Like I mentioned in a recent post, I want to dissect and rewrite an old story idea I had originally come up with over ten years ago. In trying to do that, I have come up with literally HUNDREDS of premisses and intro paragraphs. All of which I get so far, then they fall apart. I have written most of them down in a document so I have them in case I need them later, but I am feeling the heat as I want to have the Patreon supporters their copy in just over a week from today.

So, yeah. See how not one of these points are longer than a few lines? Each would make a good blog entry if I could expand it further than just a few lines. I prefir to keep things at more than just a thought or two, though I do realize how just one thought would make things easier to follow.

DAMN MY MIND. BACK TO THE GRIND.

heh… that rhymed.
And so did that…

Blog #3

I actually forgot the format for the title of blogs and had to do some searching.

Hi there! I have started going down the dark cave that is writing a new book. I’ll let you know what it’s about and how it turns out in a week or two (because even I am not sure). I am currently writing one story based around one character, but I am tossing around the idea of writing several stories and make them all intertwine somehow. Thoughts? Ideas? I have great confidence in what I am doing, but I am worried that I am just trapped in my head.

Otherwise, life has been okay. I am lonely (as Tasha works 8-9 hours 6 days a week) but I have 3 fuzzy friends to keep me company. I am an hour (give or take) from most people I know, and those who can make the trip work a fuck tonne.

I have started pushing myself in new ways. For instance: I currently cannot go from sitting to standing without something to hold onto. To combat this, I have been putting myself in more and more awkward situations and forcing myself to deal with them.

TO BE CLEAR: I am being safe.

I know myself. I know that, if I hit the ground, it could be devastating. To make sure I am okay, my end goal is ALWAYS my wheelchair. I also make sure that my walker is close by. Barring those two things: a surface to get a hold of. Still no luck to bring to light, but I hope to report something soon.

So, it’s been about one year on WP…

I have had this URL in particular since April fourth, 2015. So far, I have had just shy of 3000 people view it and posted 70 times (this update is post 71). I want to formally thank everyone who has come out and supported this project, as well as give a boring update as well as an exciting update!

(I am well aware that I posted something back in February, but this is the one year of this website. One I feel very confident about, even if the information is, at times, very fluffy)

So, the boring update first:
Since I have started writing on here, I have received a great outpour of interest and love from the community that has built. I started writing this for myself, but continue to update because of the questions I have been asked regarding the wheelchair community as a whole. I hope that everyone has found this as interesting as those people that have come up to me voicing interest and such.
I have an apartment I will be moving into (crossing fingers) as of the first of July. Unfortunately, the move is necessary: I have been kicked out of school for doing poorly. It is something I find rather ironic, but it is indeed a fact that I have to deal with. Never fear (if you had fear for some reason), I will be fine. Always have been and always will be.

Now, for the bits I find exciting!
I took an unassisted step the other week! I keep pushing everyday, and I am proud to announce that I take at least one everyday! I am NOWHERE near walking for kilometres, or even ready to leave the wheelchair, but I thought I should talk about that!
ALSO: I got the go ahead from my publisher regarding my book! I am finally done the editing phase, and I will be going ahead with a digital distribution. I want to do a physical one, but I cannot afford it in the slightest. ESPECIALLY with the aforementioned apartment in the near future. I have plans, however, to do a physical release with some added information and chapters if I see there is interest in it. I just cannot go all in for a “maybe” at this point in time.

So, yeah! That’s my update. I hope you are all doing well. Again; thank you for one excellent and interesting year! Here’s to as many as I can do and as many as you would like to read.

The Term “Better”

I was stumped what to write this week. Aside from a head cold, I have had a very good week. I talked to a guy who works at the gym here in the school, and apparently they have quite the arraignment of devices for people in wheelchairs here. I do not want to be “swole” (swoll?), but I do wish to keep my cardio up and work on muscles to make wheeling around better and easier

This week, I seem to be having the conversation about the term “Better” a lot. I am well aware of what people mean by that, but it really does grind on me, and I feel that people are using it unfairly.

People either hear the story, or see the wheelchair, and hope I get “better” implying that I should get to the state I was once in. Aside from this cold, I am better. My body is functioning, mostly, how it should. I am not in pain, and I am functioning very well.

There is a difference from doing what I want to do, and feeling or being better. I am better. My strength is up, my mind is sharp (enough), and my cardio system is better than it has ever been.

I am stuck in this chair for now, but that does not mean I have to get “better”, for your sake or mine.

I get it. No one is saying that I am in a lesser state than anyone else. No one is saying “while you are in the wheelchair, you need to strive to get out of it.” No one is that cruel..

No: What people are saying is that they hope, for my sake, that I get to the point I was once in. There are a plethora of people in chairs who are incredibly healthy and able people. Someone would not go up to someone without a six-pack and say “I hope you get better.”

To say “I hope you get better” implies that there is something is wrong that I can fix. To say “I hope you get better” actually casts a negative connotation on the progress I have made. Do I want to be the chair forever? Fuck no. I, however, see ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with people in wheelchairs, thus get mildly offended for the entire sub-culture.

To be clear: I do appreciate when someone wishes me well. I am not saying that no one should push me to be better than I am. I am not saying that I am comfortable being in a chair. I am saying that me being in a chair should not alter your perception of my health or my abilities.

Am I hesitant to do things I used to do? Hell yes. Do I require a washroom in a reasonable distance that I can use? Don’t we all? Am I here for your pity? Fuck no.

If you really want to ask, see how my recovery is going.

Current Condition

Recap of recovery time!

So, my upper body is fully recovered. Muscle tone in my arms and chest have started to come back. Skin is looking good. Hunger, eating and breathing have all returned to normal.

Numb sections in lower torso are all but gone. I still have reduced muscle mass at the hip joint, and that is the major detraction from my walking. Though the feeling is almost perfect, finally, I still cannot move the toes on the right side. The toes in my left cannot reset themselves to a normal position, but are getting better at doing so everyday.

I have been in the pool 4 times, which have gone very well. Pictures are available, if you are interested.

All in all, I would say that things are coming along well. It has been just shy of two years, but at least six months of that was decay. How long will I be where I am? Well, ask me again after surgery.


Video from August fifteenth, 2015