Overwhelmed

Hi!

I’ve been horrible. I haven’t done an update worth anyone’s time on any public forum. Not that I haven’t tried, but simply because everything I have done, as of late, has turned out poorly.

This is the fourth or fifth time trying to write this blog, and I have written several about other topics that I have scrapped. I have recorded a new vlog/podcast a few times, and get so frustrated in the editing phase that I scrap them completely. Even Facebook and Twitter posts are deleted before they are posted, for no reason outside of vanity.

I think part of the issue, but not the whole issue, is that I am in flux again. I am sitting on my hands waiting for my novella to go to print. I have three books on the go, only one is at any point of finality, and it’s still not long or good enough.

I wonder if I am being too hard on myself, or if I just need a month where I actually get some time off. I can hear it now: YoU aRe UnEmPlOyEd!

To fight that point, I am working on three books, pencilling out a new vlog/podcast, and I am trying to keep coming up with new blog posts. So, yes, a month off of everything would be nice.

None of this includes the stress of the day-to-day, which is more annoying than anything. I have some reasons to think that I am only a month off of better and more stable things. I won’t get into all of that yet.

The end point is that I need some support. Emotionally would be great, but I would also like to hit 300 followers. Consider donating to my Patreon so I can keep progressing this site, and maybe look into something else cool. The next book I am for sure releasing is almost written: I am doing my reading of it to look for structure issues. If you would like to be included in the substance editing, let me know somehow.

I haven’t recorded it in a while, so I’ll say it here.

I love you.

Short Video Notice

It is not even 30 seconds, but it serves as a notification that You’re Not Dead is being released soon. I have completed the editing, and changed some stuff around. If you are in a position where you manage distribution of text, let me know the places to get hold of you. I am kind of out of exact dates, but I assume that I will be getting the forms this coming week. Those forms will help me get my text out to the masses.

Also, if you use the YouTube subscribe aspect, I have been a little slow as of late getting new vlogs and whatnot done, but good weather is around the corner! I hope to increase releases in the next few months.

Editing is depressing

Yes, I love it when someone else edits my work. Yes, I love when someone tells me what I did wrong, and I love trying to fix things.

HOWEVER.

It will always be depressing when I get work back and see the edits in the triple-digits. Especially when most of the mistakes are stupid and seem like they are things I would NEVER do wrong. Examples are using the wrong “there/their”, switching affect and effect, and missing commas.

Yes, it was a “book” that I wrote in a week. Yes, it was under 500 edits in a manuscript that was well over 15000 words long. I mean, with all of these considerations, it is amazing that there were so few mistakes. Yet, I felt my soul cry a bit with every red-mark that I located.

On the plus side: only 3 comments were made towards content. They were good points, and my logic behind the mistakes was horribly flawed. The other saving grace was that I noticed the mistakes as soon as I read over the sentence. I cannot decide whether that is because I am a much better writer, or because I have no read the material for so long.

My eventual point is that, if you can, get someone else to edit your work. Especially because, in my case, over 50% of the mistakes were words spelt correctly, and the grammar was sound enough to be ignored by spellcheck.

Magic!!

Hi, I vanished. I have been doing far too much stressing over things that I cannot begin to have an effect on.

I’m not going to explain further.

I will be doing more updates; probably next month. I hope to hear more about book release, distribution, as well as more exciting things that I hope to have set up in the next bit.

In the meantime, here is my Patreon where you can help me feed my pets. I have had the same few people forever, and I appreciate them greatly. I hope to add to that number, and I would very much love to make you part of the family!

Too Many Ideas

I have been bouncing stories that I wrote to a friend of mine.

The takeaway from the “exercise” is that I need to accept that 2000 words is not long enough, and that I have great ideas that act like an explosion: really cool, but end far to quickly.

I have this tendency to write vignettes: short tales that have a very defined beginning, middle and end that can all be explored in the aforementioned 2000 words. It is not an intentional thing. I never start writing and think “I’m just going to do a short thing today.” I go into a project with the full intention of writing something substantial, but I also refuse to pad things out with bullshit. Nothing kills the pace of a book I am reading more than twenty pages of bullshit bookended by three or four pages of amazing.

I know: I am shooting myself in the foot. If I even wish to be published, I need to flush out the worlds and accept that bullshit is necessary.

In sending my friend parts and pieces of my collection, I came across Elane, which is published in my book.

Self-Editing

I feel like I have gone on this rant in prior updates, but I am going to speed ahead without double checking because it is relevant again today.

As per usual, I have been writing again. Well, I have been looking at the 40 pages that I have so far smashing my head against walls trying to get the motivation to continue writing again. Yes, I have everything mapped everything out for the next hundred-or-so pages, but I find the will to go forward hard to find through the gluttony of worries that my idea is too far ahead of what I am capable of as a writer right now.

I have always been the last person to add to a project. I am a drummer. I am the guy who edits, cleans, and I was a salesperson selling someone else’s dream for my entire adult life to this point. Even the book I did write is a recollection of events I went through, and therefore did not require much imagination on my part.

All of my thoughts on the idea reminded me of editors and just how much I would love to be one. Kind of: I could only imagine the horrible script they read on the daily and just have to focus on tense, grammar, and speeling. I do not envy them in that regard, and I tip my hat in their direction. I have had my friend Luka edit my stuff in the past, and I had an editor (who did a less-than-perfect) on the first draft on You’re Not Dead.

The idea of editing my own stuff seems ludacris to me. Trusting me to fix a mistake that I made makes no sense. I made the mistake because, likely, I assumed that it was not a mistake. To assume that I would find it on subsequent read throughs is silly, to put it politely. Especially when it comes to things like tone and tense. There are things that I hear in my head, and there is a VERY good chance they are wrong.

I recently got my friend Hannah to read over what I have written so far in my next work. She criticised my dialogue as feeling manufactured. That is a comment I have gotten in the past, and a trap that I cannot seem to figure out how to rectify.

Well; check that. I do know that I can rectify it, and will in future publications. My frustration is that, in the piece, it was SOMEWHAT intentional. I AM NOT SAYING THAT SHE IS WRONG FOR CALLING ME OUT ON IT. This brings me back to my point of self-editing a work. I know what my end intention is; I know my writing can feel stilted, if not robotic at times. I just don’t know how to not be that way where the end justifies the beginning. I want my writing to be enjoyable all the way through, and not to just have an “ah-hah!” at the end. Unfortunately, shy of co-writing, I have to somehow fix the way my brain deals with conversation and abstract thoughts myself.

Self-editing is like teaching yourself sex through masturbation. Parts can be achieved, you may personally enjoy the end result, but everyone else will just be bored.