Overwhelmed

Hi!

I’ve been horrible. I haven’t done an update worth anyone’s time on any public forum. Not that I haven’t tried, but simply because everything I have done, as of late, has turned out poorly.

This is the fourth or fifth time trying to write this blog, and I have written several about other topics that I have scrapped. I have recorded a new vlog/podcast a few times, and get so frustrated in the editing phase that I scrap them completely. Even Facebook and Twitter posts are deleted before they are posted, for no reason outside of vanity.

I think part of the issue, but not the whole issue, is that I am in flux again. I am sitting on my hands waiting for my novella to go to print. I have three books on the go, only one is at any point of finality, and it’s still not long or good enough.

I wonder if I am being too hard on myself, or if I just need a month where I actually get some time off. I can hear it now: YoU aRe UnEmPlOyEd!

To fight that point, I am working on three books, pencilling out a new vlog/podcast, and I am trying to keep coming up with new blog posts. So, yes, a month off of everything would be nice.

None of this includes the stress of the day-to-day, which is more annoying than anything. I have some reasons to think that I am only a month off of better and more stable things. I won’t get into all of that yet.

The end point is that I need some support. Emotionally would be great, but I would also like to hit 300 followers. Consider donating to my Patreon so I can keep progressing this site, and maybe look into something else cool. The next book I am for sure releasing is almost written: I am doing my reading of it to look for structure issues. If you would like to be included in the substance editing, let me know somehow.

I haven’t recorded it in a while, so I’ll say it here.

I love you.

Short Video Notice

It is not even 30 seconds, but it serves as a notification that You’re Not Dead is being released soon. I have completed the editing, and changed some stuff around. If you are in a position where you manage distribution of text, let me know the places to get hold of you. I am kind of out of exact dates, but I assume that I will be getting the forms this coming week. Those forms will help me get my text out to the masses.

Also, if you use the YouTube subscribe aspect, I have been a little slow as of late getting new vlogs and whatnot done, but good weather is around the corner! I hope to increase releases in the next few months.

I Hope You Enjoy!

I decided to upload a short 1 min long video on my YouTube regarding wheelchair ramps. I was not entirely sure how to spin it into a longer episode or how to write an episode around the idea. I’m not going to upload to the PodCast yet. My plan is to do so after five or so short updates on YouTube.

i don’t want to human today

Oh, whoah as me. I am having a day already, and it’s not even noon here!

I should elaborate. Nothing has happened, and discussion that I have had so far, but my brain is not my friend right now. No reason in particular; that I can fathom, anyway. I think a big part of it is being overwhelmed by many little things.

The “biggest” thing I have on my plate right now is my new publisher is requesting a list of possible venues for a book tour. They haven’t given me a timeframe that they would like this for, but I have ideas for a multimedia thing. If they are interested in that idea, and once they give me a date to start, I can have the entire thing penciled out in a week. I have at least one artist interested in joining me, once I have more information. At the very least, it will pull some people out. I don’t think I am a big enough draw, myself, to go about this adventure solo.

Unfortunately, time will tell. It’s Saturday, so my enquiries will not be answered until Monday, at the earliest. I know this, and I need to calm down. I don’t even have more worries in regards to that to voice. The possibilities of it are racing through my mind at a lightning pace, and it will probably not even be this year.

There are other things weighing on me, like finishing the rough of the book I am currently working on. I have hit the 20000-word wall that I have hit at least three times before. I know that I can get past that point, but motivation is quickly drifting from my mind. I get so fixated on not wanting to write filler that I keep scrapping new ideas that are probably NOT shit, but I have convinced myself that they serve no purpose than just to pad soemthing. I want to keep my writing engaging. I want the reader to be entertained all the way through. I have read too many books where “chapter three” is just full of words and details for pointless things. Maybe I am just being overly harsh, and I need to just push through my insecurities and write.

It doesn’t help that I feel as though I have been neglecting this site as of late. I have been putting a lot more into my vlog lately. Simply because I feel like I can leave that as is, and only come back to a topic if someone voices an issue directly. No need to justify opinions for something like that because I know issues that could arrise are more valid. I can see what percent of people watch the full video versus this blog where the chance that someone cherry-picks issues without reading further to see if I answer is greater.

I hate the arts/I love the arts.

Also: I’m broke. Please consider supporting me on Patreon.