What I owe.

Yes, I owe nothing. It does not matter whether I live or die. It does not matter what condition I am in, either.

I started that off a bit harsh. What I meant by the whole living and dying part is that I deal with my own life. Yes, my demise would be sad for a few people, but they have to carry on. If I stopped posting on here/on FaceBook/on Twitter/on Tumblr, it might raise a couple of eyebrows and cause temporary sadness. I may have communicated with a number of people, but I do not impact lives on the grand scale. I am not the reason that you wake up in the morning, have coffee, or breakfast. Not doing those things would result in your death. Do not comment that I matter in your life, because you are either lying to me, or yourself.

The wheelchair is my burden. Sure: there are things I would love to do, but cannot due to this chair. Touring in a band being the big one. Me being in the chair does not stop you from doing what you want to do at your own pace. That doesn’t mean I do not appreciate when people are disappointed I cannot do something they want to do with me, but using my disability as a reason or crutch why you cannot and then making me feel bad about being unable to join you is the furthest thing from fair.
There is a very good chance you wanted to do ‘thing-X’ with me because you were convinced I would enjoy it. People need to remember that I cannot do it with them and that mean everyone. For example; if you are against sitting in accessible spots but would like to go to a movie, too fucking bad! They are there to help me out, and I fully understand they serve no purpose to you. Go sit somewhere else and ask me my opinion after the movie.
Unless we are on a date. In which case: let’s hold hands!

I realize this update sounds rather harsh, but getting angry with me for not being able to do things that you want to do is stupid. People use guilt and blame there inability to do something on me being in the chair. All it does is make me feel bad for something I did not ask for. That hardly seems fair, to me.


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